Five on the Fly!!!!!!

Long time no see....

2012-01-19T20:13:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's been way too long. Life is just clippin' along. It's a busy life having 3 kids. We are lovin' life. Caate is doing great! It's been just shy of 18 months since we brought our little Caate home. Hard to believe all the changes that she's gone through. She is one adorable little girl that has this fire for life. She is bright and pays close attention. You can't miss much with her around! LOL! We love every bit of her and can't imagine life without her.

Caate is in preschool. She loves it! I don't even want to think about Kindergarten next year....that is coming way too fast for my liking! Wish I could keep her home another year. She's learning so much and has no problem picking up new ideas or concepts. She just takes a hold of anything that presents itself and keeps on truckin'! I love it!

Caate is just finishing dance next week...and she's already on to gymnastics. She definitely is more excited about gymnastics than dance...not surprised. She's an athletic girl that wants to look more than pretty! Though, she loves to dance around the house to the tunes cranked. :-) She definitely fits our family perfectly. Right now we have all 3 kids in soccer...plus mama. Ryden is in Beavers once a week as well.

Next month we are taking the kids on a cruise with their grandparents! We are all very excited to escape this cold. We are wondering how Caate will do. I think she is going to LOVE it. I just hope she doesn't get stomach sick. So far she hasn't been sick to the stomach since she came home...so I'm not interested in starting on our holiday. I guess time will tell! :-)

Well, just wanted to share a bit. I will do another post sooner than later. I'm tired and have to pack for our ski trip tomorrow. Hope you are all well, out there in blogger land. :-)

...Carala

1 year as our daughter....

2011-09-01T20:43:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pics of our girl...after 1 year with her. I will do a write up soon on how the last year has gone. Life is just crazy these days with school and events! I WILL sit down soon and write...I promise! :-) Life is busy with 3 kids! LOL! :-)

11 Months since Gotcha Day!

2011-07-16T14:33:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I'm a little late. It was really on the 4th, but we were away on holidays.

Caate is doing great. She normally has a quiet time every day for an hour. It gives her time to just settle her brain and allows her time to just play, and not talk! Don't we all need that kind of time?! LOL! But, on our holidays we were on the go for pretty much 2 weeks straight. Having so much fun we didn't take the time for quiet times. Sure, we paid for it some days...but over all she did great! So, now that we are back home we are back into them...and it sure does wonders for her! She is listening better, trying more to use her manner more. She hugs so deeply, and loves us as if she was always with us. Sure, there are times I see the independent Caate that can do it all on her own...when clearly she can't and it's actually kind of dangerous. But, these are all things that will come in time.

Caate is a little fish in water. She jumps into chest deep water, lands with a belly flop and proceeds to swim a foot under the water for about 5 feet all the way to me. What a crazy little girl. She also likes to jump into water over her head, without any notice. She thinks she can swim...but she can't and realizes it when she starts to take in water. This girl has NO fear. Thankfully she is taking 2 week of swimming lessons starting Monday. I will wish her instructor GOOD LUCK and hope Caate doesn't drown or that her instructor won't kick her out of lessions for not listening!! LOL!! She tends to like to do her own thing in the water...but she has to learn water safetly or I won't let her near it! The thing is, she has the ability to swim....but she will have to decide to listen to the instructor to learn to swim. If this happens...Caate will be swimming in no time! I have a feeling I need to put this girl in Swim Club! We'll see what the fall holds...so far she's registered in a dance class with a friend of hers and I thought she would love gymnastics. hmmmm....so many options for such an energetic girl!

Caate experienced the Calgary Stampede for the first time yesterday! She rode a bus and the C-train too! She's been dying to ride a bus ever since she got home...so this was so fun for her. She liked the Stampede....but I think she will like it a lot more when she a bit older. We did have a lot of fun and ate a lot of corndogs, elephant ears, and lemonade slushes that were to die for!!!!!! So much fun!

I'll post a few pics to finish this post. Kind of short on words today...I just played a soccer game in the heat and I'm kind of pooped! :-)

Our Sponsor Child

2011-06-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

Today Caate and I sat down to write our first letter to our newest sponsor child. Our newest little one is Caate's age. His birthday just so happens to be 10 days after Caate's! This boy is very special to us in so many ways. Geofrey does not have parents. His grandma is the main caregiver and I assume bread winner for the family. He also has quite a few siblings whom I'm sure also help out by having jobs. I think what hits home the most...is that he doesn't have parents. In a lot of ways Caate and Geofrey come from similar pasts. Both losing their birth parents. Maybe for different reasons. But, both being orphaned at a very young age. Thankfully he has a grandma to take care of him....but who knows for how long.

When we were given the opportunity to take on another sponsor child, I didn't have to think about this one. It was like, how could we not? This little boy will have the ability to go to school, have some clothes, some food, and a place to learn more about Jesus. There are so many ways to help God's children. We have sponsored kids with World Vision and Compassion Canada for many years..well before we had kids. It may seem like such a big thing to adopt a child....and maybe you are not the right person to. So, how about sponsor one then! Anyone can sponsor a child. For so little cost, you can help a little boy or girl get an education. Every child deserves to go to school and have a childhood.

It was fun to be able to write this letter to Geofrey with Caate. She drew a picture for him too. She may not understand now that she lived a life not that long ago that was similar to Geofrey's. But one day we hope that she will realize the miracle God did in her life, and hopefully she will want to help others to make a difference in their lives. Caate has something very special and unique about her. I know God has something amazing planned for her life. She has this passion and fire in her soul. We desire for our whole family to continue to live our lives to help others. We are not stopping at Caate. Bringing Caate into our family changed us in so many ways. Caate has given us a growing heart to serve and love the fatherless like a never thought possible. We are excited to see where God plans to take our family and how he plans to grow us in Him.

For now, we are working towards having some kind of adoption/foster care/orphan care ministry in our city. We'll see how that goes over the next few months. We are working with about 20 others with the same heart and passion. And I currently have had the opportunity to walk beside and encourage a family that is seriously considering adoption. It has always been my prayer that through our journey others would grab onto the same desire to give a child a forever family. It truly has been amazing to give light to a dark pathway for this family. Adopting internationally in Canada is very difficult and scary. And, the fact that God has given me the opportunity to shed light on their path is just so incredible. It will be neat to see how things go for this family and I look forward to the day where we can celebrate bringing their child to their forever home!!!

When I have tough days....I think about what could have been for Caate. I think about others her age that won't be given the opportunity to have a family or a home. And, then those tough days don't seem as tough. But, at the same time...these tough days are very real. For me, it's when people (and I mean friends and family in our lives) don't understand parenting an adoptive child. How can I expect them to understand. And I don't. But, this has been hard on me. At times I feel I stand on my own. I guess that's why I love to be a support to families in our community that are starting to pursue adoption. I want to give them something I just don't have. Sure, I had a lot of people that cared for us and showed love...but they didn't know what it was like to walk the path to adoption and beyond. I know what it's like now...so I can be a huge support to others that will now walk that path because they know they have someone to be a support and encouragement. In our community of people...I feel like the guinea pig really. Why am I always the guinea pig? I guess someone always has to be. I just hope that we can make the adoption journey easier on someone else. That is my desire and goal. I don't want them to go through the lonely days that I have. Support and understanding is probably one of the biggest things an adoptive family needs in their community. Yes, we've had it through blog friends and yahoo support groups for fellow Canadians. And, I have a few friends in town who have adopted. But, for a lot they adopted a long time ago. Or, they claim to have no issues or hard times. hmmm...wish I was you!

I have such drive to help others in their journey! I believe that's what God has called me to. The fact that our roller coaster of a journey hasn't scared people away gets me excited! They know, it's not the journey that really matters in the end...it's the gift at the end. And, we have this amazing gift that just keeps on giving!! The journey may be big and tough and scary...but it's just such a small part of the real picture. And that picture is Caate, with her family around her, loving her to pieces! If you have a heart that has room for a special little boy or girl that desparately wants to be loved....would you please consider adoption?! Please email me (cjellema@shaw.ca) or put a post on my blog. I'd love to chat with you!

I want to leave you with a couple pictures from today. Caate LOVES cinnamon buns. Well, I was convinced she didn't like them until grandma showed up to take care of our kids a few weeks ago. Now, she keeps talking about cinnamon buns. So, she made me some today....

10 Months since Gotcha Day....

2011-06-04T21:03:00.000-07:00

Caate just got back from a birthday party at a dance studio. I decided to get her pics now before her pony was out and her clothes were ruined! LOL! She really loved the party. She even did the routine and joined in like she had done it a million times. I was so proud of her! She has come so far in 10 short months. Like so many have said. So much changes in a year. Well, I believe it!

We are starting our 1 year post placement report in a few weeks. Boy, did that come fast! We are looking forward to the summer and our 1 year celebration. On August 4th (Gotcha Day!!) we are flying to Toronto. We will meet our agency CHOC for the first time...to thank them for all they did for us. And, we will get to see so many people that were a big part of us making it through our journey to Caate. We are so excited about this trip. I truly believe those that journey together, are family. And so...family needs to stick together! We will be in Toronto 2 weeks. We have lots of fun touristy things planned for the kids. Especially a TORONTO FC game. Ok, who am I kidding...the game is for me! LOL! I am sooo excited! If you know me...I am a soccer fanatic. I play twice a week! Anyway, it will be an all around HUGE celebration of our 1 year with Caate. Taking a airplane ride has been Caate's dream ever since getting home from Russia. It's all she talks about. Soooo, it's fitting that we are flying on her 1 year Gotcha day. It's going to be so much fun!! I sure hope she gets to meet the pilot!!!

Anyway, here are a few more pics...enjoy!

Some words and ramblings...since it's been awhile!

2011-05-25T12:42:00.000-07:00

It seems lately I've been just too tired to write. I miss it really. With soccer, and baseball for the boys, soccer for me, meetings for Terence....it't been hectic. Caate also wants a mommy to play with...not a "mommy that spends her time writing." I hope next year when Caate is in preschool 3 mornings a week I'll get more chances to write. Mornings are my best time...and that's when her preschool is.

Yes, Caate will attend preschool in the fall. She is very excited and ready! Caate's language is doing so great! She talks like pretty much any 3 year old and thinks like a 3 year old. Not bad for someone who is from a "hard place". I admire my girl for who she is, and how well she survived the 3 1/2 years she was without a constant mom and dad in her life. Despite the challenges she faces in her new life, new language, new culture, and new family...she has chosen to face them fearlessly. One of Caate famous sentences is, "Caate can do it!" She is a "CAN DO" person. We're sure she always had to fight for everything in her little life before us. And, with no one else to do it for her...SHE had to do it. Over time, Caate has realized my role in her life. She has allowed me to be mommy and likes me to help her despite her independence. If she could be in control at all times...she would (believe me!). I know that it stems from a lot of experiences in her life. So, I am sensitive to that, too.

Some days I think about her birth mom...who am I kidding, I think about her every day! With mixed feelings of course. But, the mom in me...the nice, kind and loving mom (that is!)...wants her birth mom to know she is happy, alive and well. But, the other mom in me....kind of doesn't. It's this constant battle in me. I see all the things Caate is able to do...and I'd love to show her birth mom how amazing she is! Hey, part of our make up is nature. Caate came from someone pretty amazing (I may not know a thing about her birth mom or dad...but I can imagine just by seeing Caate), I have no doubt. We have been blessed with an incredible girl! If it wasn't for certain events that lead Caate to the orphanage...we would never have been given this chance to love her, and for her to fill a special little space in our family. So, some days I feel sad that she's had to endure so much...but then I think...what if we never got that chance to be loved by her? We really would have missed out.

With adoption comes a lot of mixed feelings. But, I know that every day I just need to give these emotions to my Heavenly Father. He was the one that placed Caate in our lives...and I will do my best to be all I can be for her. I know He has a great plan for our lives. He has even greater plans for Caate. And, I really just want to be here, to help her to grow in love, faith and trust in our family and in Jesus too. So many times I just feel there isn't enough hours in the day to try and teach her all the things she missed out on. The time I have at home with her is too short. :-( I am thankful that preschool is only 3 mornings a week. I know how important preschool is for Caate though...it will teach Caate things I can't teach...especially in the socialization area of things. But, there are many other things she will just have to discover for herself. I do feel that keeping her home with me for the last 10 months has been critical in her learning how to love, who to love, and how to trust. This will give her a basis for so many areas of life. As much as it's not always been an easy time for me, at times feeling alone as people just don't understand attachment in adoption. It's been worth it. Adopting a child is not for everyone. You have to be a strong person and it's even more helpful to have a strong spouse that helps balance the load. I know I don't have to do it alone...Terence has been my strength when I just could not. And, I thank God for the strength he's given me when I just didn't know how I'd go on. I truly don't know how people do it (adopting a child) without God in their lives. My relationship with God is the reason I am not a mess, the reason I can be a great mom to Caate and our boys, the reason I am advocating for orphans despite the hardships and tough days. I see how important it is to have kids in families. Doesn't mean it's easy...but I can honestly say that I love sharing my heart for the orphan with so many...because God has given me that passion. When I look into my daughters eyes...and see the change in her, my heart gets all warm and my eyes start to sting with tears. My heart is so happy that we could give Caate the love she deserves. The love every child deserves. In return...we have been blessed ten times over! Caate was meant to be in our family. No doubt. Without her, a hole would have been left empty. That is why when we were trying to decide on having a third child of our own...it just didn't feel right to get pregnant. We really tossed the idea up for serveral months....but nothing felt right...until Terence mentioned adopting a child. I can't tell you in words what I felt in my heart...but I just knew that we were meant to adopt. We spent many weeks and months...and that grew into years, looking for the girl God knew we were going to adopt. Definitely pushed us to our limits some days! But, we didn't give up. God had a lot to teach us, in order for us to be good parents to Caate. We needed that time to grow us in our relationship with Jesus. We needed that time to teach us the patience we would need with Caate. I am a better mom, because of the 3 1 /2 years it took us to complete our adoption. So, when people tell me how long their process has been...I think, yes, it's probably a good thing that it's taking this long. There is much to learn...and we need to be thankful for the time we have to prepare us. I know it's hard to wait, I had my moments. But, looking back...God's timing was really perfect! So, I try to take what I've learned... and apply it to things that I am now experiencing. I know it's for a reason, when things take time. I love to have a plan and an agenda...but I'm learning that God's plan is not always on the same timeline as mine. So, I need to be flexible! :-) I hope that you too can trust God, even when it seems that He doesn't care about you or the time it's taking. He really does love you enough to give you the time needed to make the perfect plan happen! :-)

Well, enough of my ramblings...I need to pack for camping!

Until next time!
Carala

9 Months Home!!!!

2011-05-06T12:39:00.001-07:00

The months are just zooming by! I don't have time to write about the last month and Caate's progress...but I will soon. For now, here are some pictures I took today. No green grass or beautiful flowers...it is spring here afterall! LOL! Enjoy!

8 Months Since Caate became ours!!!

2011-04-04T15:09:00.000-07:00

Wow! 8 Amazing months!

If you were to ask me what is the best thing that's happened in 8 months, this is what I'd say: Caate is attaching well!!! Yes, there's ups and there are downs when it comes to attachment. But, in the last few months it's been way more ups than downs. She really is getting to know where her real deep love comes from and that we will always be there for her. No matter what! There's no more desire to run to strangers. She keeps close to us. And just the other day, we had another great moment I want to share!

My parents had arrive to help look after the kids for the adoption conference and Steven Curtis Chapman concert!!!!! So on Saturday, my mom said Terence and I should get out for a bit while Ryden goes to a birthday party. So, we put Caate for her nap (in which grandma helped!) and left. She knew where we were going and that we'd be back later. Well, when we got back a couple hours later...Caate was fine. (we thought) Then, about 10 minutes after we got home...while I was snuggling her...tears started to pour down her face. And, she kept hugging me tighter and tighter. She missed me. She missed us. We think she was scared that we wouldn't come back. But, she knows we do. The thing is, I haven't left her very many times since we've been home. If I leave, Papa is always there. But this time, we both left. Our poor little girl held in her fears for the whole time we were gone. Thankfully she felt safe enough, to burst into tears in my arms. That, is great progress. And truthfully...my heart was singing for joy as she was crying her heart out. The cry was unique. It was a cry we rarely hear. We hear all types of crying...but not this one. It was music to my ears. It was a cry of love for us...and she wanted to make sure we loved her too. And, that we did come back. I reassure her all the time that we do come back. But, I have a feeling she may always be this way when we leave her. I know there was some major neglect in her life. 3 1/2 years of neglect. People leaving her and really, never coming back. We want her to know we will always come back...hopefully she will learn that we will, always. I know it will take time, lots of time. Maybe years and years...who knows. But for today....it was another giant step forward in the attachment category. Caate is loving us deeper and deeper every day. And that, is worth all the heart ache, pain and stress that we've felt for 8 months trying to do what is best for Caate in regards to attachment. Hoping our protection over her, restricting hugs from anyone besides our immediate family and grand parents in order to help her attach to us in the best way. Knowing, we don't know all the answers....we aren't experts. We, are just two parents that love our kids...all our kids. And, hoped our research on attachment would be enough to work with her!!! We'd like to say it's working...but, that will really take years to fully see. But for now....this mama is happier than ever...knowing my daughter missed me and hugged me tight and didn't want to let me go. And, missed her Papa equally! That is something to CELEBRATE!!!!!

We think Caate is finally starting to gain a bit of weight! This, is HUGE! Of course our scale is not really accurate...but just looking at her skinny mini little body...it looks like she's getting a bit (and I mean a bit!) of fat on her. She's grown 3 inches in the last 8 months...so she is growing. But, just UP!

So, what's next? Well, Caate is getting her tonsils and adenoids out on Thursday April 7th! This, hopefully will help her sleep deeper and with ease and hopefully will burn less calories at night trying to breath and in turn helping her gain some much needed weight! She definitely eats WELL!! So, Thursday is one big day! I will get to stay over night with her so I am VERY happy about that. If you pray, will you say a prayer that day for Caate...and the rest of us! I know Caate, she is tough. She, can handle pretty much anything. She will LOVE all the popsicles and jello. She is going to be in heaven. She loved her dental surgery day...so, we'll see about this one. I think this will definitely be harder on her...but we'll see how much harder. Like I said, she is one tough girl. :-)

Well, that's it I think. Life is good. Caate's vocabulary is developing well! She recognizes most of her letters now and says them. She can write some as well. For someone a couple months ago who couldn't care less about letters or numbers...it's amazing to see! I'm so proud of how far she's come in 8 months. :-)

Yesterday we attended (what I think was) Calgary's first adoption conference, called End the Wait tour 2011!!! It was put on by Focus on the Family Canada. They sponsored Steven Curtis Chapman and Geoff Moore and they've been making their way across Canada. They have 5 cities across Canada where they have done an info sessions on the 30,000 kids that are in foster care across Canada. Bringing awareness to most that don't know about the thousands of kids that are without a mom or dad. Steven Curtis Chapman and Geoff Moore both have adopted children from China and both have great hearts for the fatherless! They put on a fantastic concert last night that packed the place out!

Steven has 3 adopted daugthers from China and 3 biological. He shared about the accidental death of his youngest daughter (from China) that happened 3 years ago this May. They've been through some dark days, but, they have hope because of what Christ has done for us. That one day they will see Marie Sue again, in Heaven.

God is our father, who is the ultimate adoptive dad that invites anyone who so chooses to become a child of God. Adoption is so close to God's heart. He wants us to take care of the fatherless. Doesn't just mean adoption, or foster care. It could mean making a meal for a family that just adopted a child. It could mean giving respite to a couple that is fostering a special needs child. It could mean sponsoring a child with Campassion Canada or World vision (or many others) James 1:27 says this "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress..."

I was reminded last night of many things. But one thing I know...God has only begun to use our lives in order to spread His love for the fatherless. God has great plans for Canada, for Alberta and for Calgary! We are both excited to see what God is going to do!!

Please go to the focus on the Family website for more info on adoption in Canada. Or, if you have any questions I would be more than happy to try and answer them or redirect you to someone that would know the answer.

I'll leave you with some photos of our little Caate...8 months home! I took this pics just this morning. Boy, I'm not sure what I would do without my girl. :-)

8 Months since Caate has been with us!

2011-04-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

7 Months!!!!

2011-03-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

Caate has been home 7 Months!!!! She sure has become an amazing little girl. Acting so much older, listening a little more consistantly, and just adjusting so much more to life in her family. The biggest step for her in the last 6-8 weeks has been trust and love. She LOVES us so much more deeper than she ever has. It's sooo exciting to see!!!! Because we have the boys to compare to (which I try not to do), but for measuring "depth of love and attachment", it's been quite handy. Her love for us as parents has grown leaps and bounds! The way she looks at me now, compared to 3 months ago is completely different. The love she has in her eyes is so incredible!

Yesterday I was praising her for not doing something over the last few weeks, that she had been doing for the last 7 months. I wanted her to know how proud I was of her. What I didn't expect, was the beam of light that radiated from her face and eyes!!!! She didn't need a reward, or a treat....it was good enough to get words of praise from me. She was so proud of herself...and for once all she wanted was to know that I noticed and that I was proud of her. She had the look on her face that her brothers have when I praise them for doing something well. It was a break through moment for us. My words were all she needed and wanted. Mama's approval and love. I almost cried. You work so hard every day, fun or not, to be intentional when raising a child from a 'hard place'. It's hard work...harder than raising biological kids. And, the fact that I didn't get the first 3 1/2 years with her....you have to try and undo some things that she had learned. That can be tough. And, you have to do it with sensitivity and gentleness as well. The most rewarding moments, are when you have break throughs! Even small ones. Yesterday I felt like we leaped forward a huge step! I don't feel she has as strong a desire to seek out love from anyone other than her parents and her brothers anymore. She really does LOVE US!!! She knows now that we will always love her, even when she does something wrong, or something that disappoints us. She spent many months pushing every one of my "buttons". Boy, was she good at it!!! LOL! But, over time she realized that I still loved her in the moments that pushed me to my limits. Yes, we have bunted heads a few times. Yes, we've gone through some tough times...but Yes, I chose to love her and wrap my arms around her when she tried to push me away. Yes, it was hard. It's hard to love someone when their actions are not of love. But, God gave me the strength to love her despite the cirumstances. And, now I can honestly say I love Caate much deeper and stronger than I ever have. Our love has grown over the last 7 months. It wasn't automatic. It took effort. Most people don't know that about adoption. It's not always automatic to love your new child as much as your biological ones. Honestly, it was effort. And really, what it took was time. I am thankful I am blessed to have her home with me. I don't have to leave her at day care. I can spend every waking minute with her...creating strong attachment and love. I feel so blessed. I want to give her the best of me. And, I want her to know I will sacrifice all that is in me for her. :-) She deserves to know how to love and trust someone....and I will do all I can to teach her that.

Caate,
I will always love you, and do everything that is in me to protect you. You are something soooo special. I feel pretty amazing that God chose me to be your mom. To get to spend every day with you, to get to be your teacher of life and love. You, are a dream come true! Thank you for being patient with me, as I make mistakes and not always do things right the first time. You really do love me and I know that will never change. I am proud of you, what you have overcome in your 4 years of life. You are a bright shining light already....and I know God has big things planned for your life! I know there are many things you will still have to over come in life as you begin to realize that your life has been quite different than your brothers thus far. I hope we will always be able to tackle each step together as mother and daughter and that you know I will always be here for you. Your Papa and I love you so deeply and want the very best for you! Your brothers adore you and will also love and protect you always. :-) You are our girl, through and through!!! Don't ever forget that!

With love,
your forever mama

You will notice that Caate's personality is FINALLY coming through in her monthly pictures!!!! I loved this shoot with her...we had so much fun! ( I didn't get 6 month pictures as Caate and the rest of us were quite sick, so hopefully these will make up for it!)

1 year ago....

2011-02-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

1 Year ago....I was going nuts in my house waiting for the phone to ring...so my friend S. and I went for coffee at Indigo to pass the time. S. also was in this crazy process and had already experienced "the call" so she gladly took time out of her day for me! It was shortly after 1pm when I received a call on my cell phone. We were about to take our coffees and drive over to Winners (I believe!) but of course this call ended our coffee break! This was the call that would change our lives, forever... I told my social worker I'd call her back at home when I could get my husband on the phone as well...he was at work. So, I sped home....a million and one thoughts going through my head. Oh my GOODNESS!!!! This is it!!!! (I was thinking!) Trying to stay calm we got all 3 of us on the phone....our S.W. was emailing the photos over to us and we planned to open up the email together. I had always imagined our girl with dark eyes and dark hair....and there she was! Very much all I had ever dreamed of. She had fair skin, fairer than I thought she'd have though. She was cute (phew!)!! It's funny thinking back over those initial thoughts...."could I love this little girl?" "Is she really going to be ours?" "Are we ready for this?"

We first thought her name was Yapparova! Poor little girl, I thought to myself!! LOL! In Russia they have 3 names(kind of like North Americans)...but it's a little different. The 2nd name mentioned was her 1st name. I didn't find that out until talking with my sister-in-law later. Thank GOODNESS! :-)

Of course we had a lot of thinking to do that day...and for several days after. It was a very stressful time for us. If you don't know the whole story...we initially turned down the referal of Caate. Thankfully, God brought together a plan to change our minds and travel to Russia to meet Caate. Thankfully for my new found friend S. in Toronto....we got info about Caate that made us rethink everything. It was a chain of events only God could have planned out. Such a cool story. Anyway, we ended up accepting the referal for Caate and we set into motion something that never stopped...and on August 4th, 2010 we received Caate into our lives forever. It took less than 5 1/2 months to bring Caate home. It was pretty incredible journey!!! Not without many lows...but through those lows I got to know the God of my life so much better. Without Him leading me through some very dark days...I don't know if I would have made it to Caate.

Today, Caate has been home almost 7 months. Time has flown by! She has changed so much...and best of all....we both feel her love for us is soooo much deeper than it was even 6 weeks ago. We are thankful that God has helped us through the tough days when I wondered when she'd really love me. And, God brought people around us to support us through that time. The journey really started when we brought Caate home. Everything before that was just preparation for what was to come. I'm so glad it took 3 1/2 years to find Caate. If it was an easy journey...I'm not sure I could have handled the last 7 months. Yes, there are highs, and we are so thankful and blessed to have Caate in our lives. But reality is, it's not always easy. We've struggled, we've cried, and we've held each-others hands through some hard days....but even with that....she is worth EVERY BIT of struggle. Cause when I laugh with her, when I hug her...and especially when I hear those most amazing words, "I love you Mama". It makes you forget all the tough days in the last 7 months! Caate is one silly girl, loves to laugh at herself and thinks she's funny, loves to run (she's pretty fast with those little legs!), loves to color, to ski (her knew LOVE), to play dolls, have tea parties, to swim (I'd say her biggest passion in life is WATER!), to eat chocolate MOST of all! She loves her brothers, and they love her and even in Trennon's prayer tonight he said how thankful he is to have her as his sister. Wow, music to a mom's ears! I love how God knew Caate needed 2 amazing brothers to be great examples on how to love God, love life and how to love eachother. Trennon and Ryden are definitely THAT! So, she is equally blessed to have them in her life. To see them play together, fight together, share together and just BE together. It is a match made in heaven. God brought these 3 amazing little people into our lives....to show us how amazing our heavenly Father is. That he could make each one of us and know we'd all fit so well!

So today, I am thankful. Thankful for the crazy life journey God has brought me on. Most people want the easy road in life. Well I say, "how boring!" The journey with God isn't always easy, actually, most of the time it's challenging, tough and pretty much rocks you around. But, the tougher life gets, the closer I get with God, and the happier I am. (if that makes any sense!) If we would never have grabbed onto the journey of adoption and just chose to have another biological kid or none at all....we would have missed out on so many of the blessings God had in store for us! And, He couldn't have used our family to bless others with His story of the love He has for all of His children...including Caate! So, yes, I am thankful for the rocky road. I know I will continue to have rocky roads as we continue to parent Caate and our boys. I find I always have to be on my toes, reading up on attachment issues, behavior issues that stem from kids that are from "hard places", social issues, speech delay issues, sleep issues, teeth issues, growth issues....it's never ending. But, God knew Caate needed a mom that loved being a mom. :-) And, that I do! And, I am so thankful that Caate got the best dad in the world....cause He is one amazing dad. And, God knew she needed a dad that would wrap his arms around all her hurts and around her beautiful little body and never let her go. Caate loves her Papa....soooo much! It's pretty beautiful to see. :-)

Well, there you have it! Lots has happened in a year! :-)

With love,
Carala

6 Months Since Gotcha Day!!!!

2011-02-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

Wow! Hard to believe we picked up Caate only 6 months ago! We've done so much in 6 months it feels more like a year or two!

Normally I post pictures on her "anniversay", but we're both really sick with colds and sore throats so that won't be happening. I'll post some next week in conjunction with her birthday! Yes, Caate is turning 4 on February 9th! Hard to believe! She still seems like a 3 year old...and probably will for a while yet. She's petite too. Although she's grown in height, she hasn't really in weight. On Monday we go back to the adoption specialist for her 6 month appointment so hopefully we'll be able to chat about her weight. We are starting to have some concerns. Although we figure getting her tonsils out will help her breathing at night. She uses a lot of effort to breath at night, so hopefully she won't burn so many calories trying to breath after we get her tonsils out. Our appointment is April 7th. So, 2 more months of this. I know it will go fast.

Next week we are going to the airport to see one of Caate's friends from the baby home. He's coming home to his new forever family along with his 2 little brothers. We don't think Caate remembers him. We showed her pictures of him and she didn't seem to remember him at all. She has lost a lot of her memories of the baby home. I just wonder if D. remember her at all? Will she look so different that he doesn't even remember her? Will he try speaking russian to her? Will she even remember any Russian? We think she's lost a lot of her Russian, like 99 % of it. But, I wonder if she'll at least understand him when he speaks to her. All these questions! It's going to be fun though!

Caate finally got her first cold. It was a doozy! But, she's a trooper and has handled being sick better than I do. She had a fever of 104-105 for 2 days straight, sore throat and cough. The poor girl! 6 days later she has no fever, but still has the cough and a sore throat. Doc says it's viral...so we just have to wait it out. So not fun. It's been hard keeping her still. But,she's doing fine.

Well, I think that's all for now.

Carala

Success!

2011-01-21T11:46:00.001-08:00

So,

Caate had dental surgery and came out all fixed up! She did great! So great, she called it a FUN Day!!!!! What an amazing, strong, and brave little girl we have! She recovered so quickly...it was like she didn't even have anything done! She had 9 fillings in all and 4 extractions of the 4 decaded teeth that were actually absessing (poor girl!) So, good thing we got them out of there!

Then, on Thursday this week we had her ENT appointment (ear, nose, and throat). We had this booked months ago so we had to go no matter how well C. was doing. Thankfully she was great! With her sleep issues and difficult breathing at night we wanted to get things checked out. Well, the short story is...she needs her tonsils out. Oh boy....here we go again! But, the doc said what a difference it will make for her sleeping. Hopefully she'll get a much deeper sleep so she won't have to nap for 2 hours every afternoon. And, he said she will probably gain some weight (finally!). I don't think she's gained even a pound since coming home. He thinks she burns all her calories at night trying to breath. He's seen this before and the kids will actually gain weight in the months following surgery. So, we'll see! Hopefully she'll gain something!!! She sure eats a lot for a little girl her age!

Well, that's what's going on in our lives these days. Caate should be booked in for surgery within a couple of months. So, we're all good with that. It's so great to be so well taken care of with these great doctors and dentists! We feel so blessed!

Today we're off to go enjoy the snow and do some skiing at our place in the mountains....should be fun and relaxing! :-)

love,
Carala

The big day!

2011-01-17T12:10:00.000-08:00

Well, tomorrow is the big day! Caate will have dental surgery tomorrow at 9am. We are so happy this day is finally here! She has been in pain on and off for a couple months now. We will be so happy to have her mouth pain free for the first time in her life, especially Caate!! It will be so nice to be able to give her sweets more often or when people offer our kids a candy I don't have to cringe anymore cause I know she won't hurt because of it. She will be able to have juice and enjoy it...not complain about her teeth hurting. Oh, how wonderful this will all be!

So, if you pray. Please pray for Caate tomorrow at 9am Mountain time. I just hope she won't be too scared and that she won't hurt too much after the surgery. I have no idea what to expect. But, we also know how tough Caate is....so I'm sure she'll be ok. :-) Hopefully I'll be ok! ;-) Surgeries seem to be tougher on the parents sometimes than the patient themselves. God is good though. He has protected all of us from sickness this winter. Terence was the only one of us that has been sick this winter. We are so thankful that our boys haven't brought home the high fevers and vomiting that's going around. God is good! So good! It's sure going around so I'm so thankful for this bubble God has placed over our house hold. He has allowed us 5 months of being sick-free. That is amazing! We've needed this time to really adjust as a family. And, we are soooo thankful that we haven't gotten the stresses of illness to really make life miserable. Wow, God is so good to us. :-) I feel so blessed.

Well, I should run. So much to do while Caate naps!

I'll update when the surgery is over....
love,
Carala

Caate's First 5 Months

2011-01-06T19:49:00.001-08:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Caate at 5 Months Home....

2011-01-06T12:11:00.000-08:00

Caate is really starting to say longer sentences. Her understanding is growing leaps and bounds as well. She'll say words like, "maybe", and not just yes or no. Or should I say, yup! LOL! In the last few weeks Caate has gone from a "push mama's buttons" stage to her loving to just be with me and play. She hasn't been going out of her way to do something she knows I don't like!! :-) She really is a delight and such a bright light in my day. :-) Today she really wanted to play soccer. Well, if you know me....I LOVE doing that! So, I taught her about "headers" and that we can't use our hands. Of course then all she wanted to do was use her hands. :-) She can be quite the tease as well!

Sometimes it's hard to remember what all she is doing. She acts more and more like a typical 3 year old that has been in a family for their whole lives. Some days I can't believe it's been only 5 months.

Last night we had our social worker over to do our 6 month post placement report. Everything went so well. :-) It's nice to just keeping checking that "list" off and getting things done. In 12 days Caate has her dental surgery and in 14 days she goes to the ENT doctor (ear nose and throat). check check CHECK! :-)

Caate grew a little more than last month...but her weight is still about the same. Sure, I'd like it if she gained a pound or two...but, she's so happy and eats like a champ!

Caate is consistantly sleeping better and better. She gets about 12 hours a night and still a 2 hour nap. If she gets her sleep, she is very happy. Rarely gets grumpy. I know she is grumpy when all she wants to say to her brothers is NO! LOL! But, that is so rare. She really loves them both and has a lot of fun playing with them. It was fun to watch Ryden and her playing CLUE Jr. the other day. He was so great at letting her role the die and move the men. Such a sweet boy that Ryden is! Trennon and Caate continue to have this great respect for each other. I'm so amazed at how well all 3 of them get a long. When they all get laughing, it's pretty great to see. Ter and I just look at each other and smile. We sure do have pretty wonderful kids, thanks to God's 3 amazing plans for our family. :-)

A few more facts about Caate:
She knows all her colors
She can count to 12
She identifies what a 1, 2 and 3 look like
She loves to sing
She now like to dance(a new thing for her!)
She LOVES puzzles and is very good at them
she has begun to make her dolls and stuffed animals talk (she thought this was strange before!)
she now likes to play "doctor" and have "tea time" with her stuffed animals and ME!

Anyway, that's just a few things!

Until next month! :-)

...Carala

5 Months Home!!!!

2011-01-04T15:20:00.000-08:00

Hard to believe 5 months have flown by! Here a few pics I took today on her "anniversary"! Hopefully I'll have more time later tonight to post an update on the things Caate is doing. :-)

Sleep test and dental surgery...oh the fun!

2010-12-14T12:26:00.000-08:00

At the end of November we got a sleep Apnea test done on Caate. Thankfully it's as easy as putting a little "bandaide" on her finger with a cord running from it through her PJ's to the machine. She was amazing! Didn't once pull it off her finger and slept amazing. If something was seriously wrong, we would have heard from them right away. But we didn't, so that's good. We will have our follow up appointment with the ENT in mid January. So, we can ask some questions about her sleep.

So why did we request a sleep apnea test? Well, when we first got Caate home she was a very VERY loud breather when she slept. It was quite disturbing. And when she rolled onto her back, she would stop breathing. It was pretty scary for both of us to see. We'd watch her at night as she flipped from front to back to side to front etc etc. All within 30 seconds. And, to think of it now...no wonder why she slept 3-4 hours in the afternoon at that point. She was not sleeping at night. Slowly her naps have reduced to 1 1/2 - 2 hours. In time she has become more of a less restless sleeper (as far as we can tell). You can hardly hear her breath now, which is GREAT!!!! We do still notice that she stops breathing when she rolls on her back. So, we thought it was still worth it to get her checked out. We've been pretty lucky with Caate. She really has had no health problems at all. We do hope that in time she will gain some weight. She's such a petite litle thing! She weighs 27 lbs and 94 cm. But, she's no different than Ryden....so she totally fits in the fam! :-)

Next on our calendar is dental surgery! Oh, doesn't that just sound like fun! NOT! Caate needs a lot of dental work done. So, we opted to get it all done at once...while she is put under. Hopefully all goes well. We are scheduled for mid January. We go in the morning and we should be home by lunch. They say by the next day she should be herself again. So far this is the last thing we need to deal with. It will be so nice to have her all fixed up! Caate has been feeling pain in her teeth over the 3 weeks or so. It pains me as a mom to see this. My poor girl. It especially gets aggravated when she has sweets. So, we've been trying to limit them...but with Christmas it's been hard and will be for the next few weeks. Oh well, she has survived so far...I think she can handle a little while longer.

Well, that's just another update. I included a few pics of when we did her Sleep Apnea test! :-)

Love,
Carala

4 Months...and 1 day!

2010-12-05T13:27:00.000-08:00

Caate has been home 4 Months and 1 day. We were so busy yesterday I didn't get a chance to blog!

Caate....she has a zest for life! She is talking so much more. Hardly any Russian words at all. Maybe 4 or 5. She is putting more sentences together. Like this morning Caate said "Ryden, let's play, come on let's go!" or, something else she's been saying in the last couple days...."I want to SKI!". Yes, we bought her skis on Friday! Hopefully her and I will hit the slopes on Tuesday at our local ski hill. Don't worry...I'll have my video camera handy. It's going to be quite the experience. This girl has NO fear...so hopefully I'll be laughing, and not crying! :-)

Caate knows her colors, and can say 1-10 in English most of the time. She sings the ABC song and gets a lot of the letters right. Identifying them isn't her thing yet...but that will come in time. She can write the letter 'C', 'A', 'T', 'E'. So pretty much all the letter of her name. But, some are side ways, or flipped the wrong way. Usually her 'E' is generally the right way. Her love really is coloring, singing, and building with K'Nex...oh, and cars.

Caate is also 3.....she loves to push mama's buttons. :-) She has moved passed the stage of not wanting to hold my hand on roads, parking lots or on the way to school. She does it willingly now, and usually her idea. So, this is progress!

We went through a time where she was wanting to go to some of my friends (who she knows quite well). We quickly put the breaks on...and emphasized that she has 1 mama and 1 papa and if she needs anything we are here for her. She seemed to catch on...and my friends have been great and super supportive. We just asked that no one hold her hand or hug her. Everyone's help on this has been positive and Caate is definately coming to me for everything. Only on a rare occasion has she reached out to one of my friends. Oh course mama's watchful eye has been there to easily scoop her up and tend to whatever need she had. We know that this all will take time. It has only been 4 months afterall. I really wonder at what point she will figure out we aren't going to send her away? I look forward to her english getting better and as she grows up we'll be able to talk about more things.

I love how she prays every night before she goes to sleep. And I love her desire to sing. We sing a few songs every evening before bed and she just loves it. It's such a great bonding time as well and we snuggle up close and we sing together. Papa also gets to spend this time with her so we both get to enjoy her snuggles.

Caate's hair is growing! She is growing in height, but not weight. I don't know if I should be concerned with this or not. So, for the time being I'm not! She's happy, healthy, and active. Very active. She's just a skinny mini like her mom....so at least she fits in! She still wears size 2 pants and mostly size 3 shirts. And, she turns 4 in February...so she's petite! 27 lbs and 94 cms tall. She's so strong though! I think she will be a fantastic skier. I can't wait to bring her out this week. I can just see her now....Caate do it! CAATE DO IT!!!!!! HA! Should be interesting!!! I'll post some video to show you how she did.

What else have we been up to? Well, the house is decorated, shopping is very very close to being done. I'll finish up the Christmas baking this week. And next week I'll be packing and cleaning my house as we leave on the 17th to go to our place in the mountains for a week of skiing! My parents will be joining us for about a week and they'll spend Christmas at our house after we're all at Panorama together. So, should be a fantastic Christmas. And so special that we have our little Caate in our lives to celebrate the blessing she has been to us!!! God's greatest gift to us(besides our 2 other special blessings!)

The boys are doing great! The 3 of them together is perfect. They do sooo well together. A match made in heaven! They get a long great....and have quite the blast together. I can't wait to see them all on the ski hill together. They'll be racing eachother down the hill in no time!

Well, that's it for now. I know there should be others things I should be writing about her...but I'm drawing a blank! When I remember I'll post again!

Time to run...I have soccer tonight and we're off to visit TJ's mom and dad. :-)

Until next time!
Carala

the every day...

2010-11-12T11:41:00.000-08:00

I sat down today...not knowing exactly what I would want to say. Not that I had planned to write on my blog today. But, as life rocks and rolls us...I want to be real and share my life.

Life is full of ups and downs. I always thought our life with Caate after bringing her home would be a lot of downs, to tell you the truth. So many people said that the first months could be very very difficult for our family. We knew some things about Caate that lead us to believe that the first 3 months in particular could be hard for us. Well, it's really been nothing but incredible with her up til now. 3 months of amazing connection and love. We've really had a blast. But just over this past week or so, as we've let our guard down a bit with her ( and not intentionally) that we've seen some things that remind us all over again that she did not grow up in our house for the last 3 1/2 years, but only for the last 3 months. Attachment is probably one of the most important topics in the adoption world. It's the one thing I read about the most before adopting. It's a scary thing, because it is soo essential to having healthy relationships in life.

As life has gone on...Caate has done well with attaching to us. But, we knew that it would take a lot of time, many months and years before we could really know how well she is attached to us. It takes a lot of time and intentional actions on our part to make sure we are doing things to promote attachment. For those of you who don't know much about adoption. This would be all foreign to you. With our own biological kids...the bonding starts in the womb...and then continues as we hold them, feed them, and snuggle them as babies. It's something we don't have to think about doing...we just do it every minute of every day. Well, Caate's history of all of this is unknown to us. We know she has lived in many places...and so we know she has been neglected and most likely passed from one person to the next.

Why would she think at this point that we are her parents for life, her family for life....if everyone else has thrown her away? So, we have to intentionally take the extra time she needs every day to tell her we love her, smoother her with kisses and hugs, and tell her we will never leave her. Plus spend lots of hands on time with her...and that means neglecting my house work (which some days isn't so hard to do! LOL!), not keeping up with the laundry, and having less of "me" time. So, if you come by my house on any given day during the week...it is not all cleaned and tidy...it's most likely a little messy and not as clean as it was last year.

Last year I had 3 full days to myself. I got my toes painted, I got my hair cut and dyed regularly, and played a lot more soccer, I shopped by myself, and I even remember that I vacuumed the entryway almost every day cause the grass and dirt bugged me (I have a hard time actually believing I did that!!). To the onlooker and acquaintances, they probably don't understand the stresses of being an adoptive parent. Caate looks all too connected with us and is loving life. How hard could it be? Well, it definitely different than parenting biological kids and takes more time mentally and emotionally. But, she is so incredible I couldn't imagine life without my Caate, my daughter. She is worth it a million times over! I know that if we put in the time now, we will reap the rewards later as we look at her develop relationships and be able to trust. It's like we are trying to play catch-up on the 3 1/2 years we weren't able to love her. I believe God wrapped his arms around her during those 3 1/2 years that we weren't able to be a part of her life. So, I don't want to worry about what all happened to my daughter while I wasn't there. All I know, is that I want to do what I can to be the best mama that I can be for her. I will neglect the rest of my life temporarily so I can concentrate on my daughter and what she has missed out of with me in the 3 1/2 years of her little life. I know there also needs to be a bit more of balance in my life. I do need to have a little more "me" time, I need to get my hair cut more than every 6 months, I need to take care of me.

And, so....I am in the process of doing that. Tonight is the 3rd game of soccer this week. Soccer is late at night...so the kids are fast a sleep while I'm playing. It just means I'm a little more tired the next day cause I didn't get to sleep until after mid-night. But, I need this for me. And so, once in a while I take a nap while Caate is napping and I don't get as much house cleaning done. It's not going to kill anyone. :-) And, mama will be happy, and healthy and ready to be a great mom to my kids...all of them! :-)

So, to every adoptive mom (and dad) out there....know that we all go through struggles and it's a good thing to talk about it! The faster we can figure out these struggles the better parents we can be! I am also thankful for all our friends that support us, even if they don't understand. You guys are amazing!

With much love,
Carala

3 Months Since Gotcha Day!

2010-11-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

What is Caate doing these days:

*she counts 1-2-3-4-8-82! (LOVE her counting)
*she knows her colors...sometimes she gets them right, sometimes not.
*She wrote her first letters yesterday! the Letter "A" and "C" and "E" and "T" (the letters of her name)
*she only has a handful of Russian words left (such a happy/sad thing)
*she is LOVING gymnastics - it took til just last week to want it every day! It's hard to tell a 3 year old that you don't get gymnastics every day!
*She is a "normal" 3 year old more this month than the 2 previous months.
*She eats pretty much anything...especially loving bananas and watermelon...and chocolate (of course!)
*She wishes she could go to school. She will start her in January at the same preschool that her friend Corbin(also adopted from Russia) is going to.
*She is putting together 3 and 4 word sentenses.
*She understand pretty much everything we say
*She LOVES her extended family! (we got to see some at a family wedding)
*She loves her grandma and Grandpa.
*She LOVES to color. She colors in the lines too!
*She loves music!
*She loves going on adventures, be it hiking in the mountains or driving somewhere in the truck

I'm sure I missed a bunch of things...but there's a little bit about our little Caate! She is 3 years and 9 months....hard to believe in another 3 months it will be her birthday!

There's another monthly update! Crazy how times just slips away. Soon it will be Christmas! Well, until the next one...

....Carala

A powerful video you need to watch!

2010-10-06T15:12:00.000-07:00

Hope is Fading – Orphan Sunday from Allan Rosenow on Vimeo.

2 Months Since Gotcha Day!

2010-10-04T13:05:00.001-07:00

I don't think much has to be said after those photos....Caate is doing great! I took these just this morning at the park near our house. So many people have commented on how well she fits our family. We totally agree. Caate fits more than perfectly. :-) Yesterday we hiked in the foothills near our place...and she kept up with the boys no problem! You could tell she didn't want Ryden to lead...so by the end of the 4 km hike she was leading the pack! :-) What a girl...3 years and almost 8 months...and we didn't carry her ONCE on the hike! There is so much strength and determination in that little body of hers!!!! So fun! So, today we celebrate another milestone. I was thinking the other day about stuff she used to do, and now doesn't. She used to bite her fingers or just put them in her mouth....I can't remember that last time she did that! She definitely uses less Russian words. Certain ones she uses still are just so cute...I hope she will always use them! :-) Today she said a word I couldn't make out...so I said, "is that a Russian word or English word?" She said, English!!! LOL! I totally laughed out loud...I didn't even know she could say the word, ENGLISH! It's amazing what she knows. Her engligh is coming along. I have no idea what is good progress and what is not. But, she's doing fine! She repeats a lot of words...and I think that shows great progress. :-) Anyway, as I said...the pictures do really say it all. She is happy...and that makes the rest of us happy too! :-)

Love,
Carala (for all my kiddos and hubby too!)

7 weeks home...

2010-09-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

Some days it's hard to believe she's home....but most days I feel like she's always been here! She has fire, depth, heart, and incredible strength. She is helpful, happy, ready for any adventure, and has absolutely no fear in whatever she does. And, she is my girl! The one I dreamed about, prayed for, loved from afar....the one I ran that crazy 8km race for last fall...when she was going through probably the hardest time in her life!!! I ran my hardest for her...and she fought through days when I'm sure she wondered if anyone would ever love her. She's the one I cried an ocean full of tears for...on good days and bad. She's the one God had in mind for us...before she was even born. And, to think God placed adoption on our heart in January 2007 because he knew Caate was going to be born in February 2007 and would need me...one day. So, he took us around the world....in search of our girl. We never gave up...only because we knew God wanted us to keep going. No matter how many valleys we encountered...and how many mountains we had to climb...God was there to help us through. So many days I didn't understand why so long, why we had to wait, why did we had to change countries so many times, why? why? why? But, God was patient with me and patient with my questions. But through it all, I learned more about God in 3 1/2 years than I had learned in my 35 years of life put together. I learned to live by faith, to love without abandon, to trust Him when it didn't make sense to me, to hope when the chips are down, to persevere when you're runnin' on empty. God filled my tank when there was no station near and gave me strength to push through thoses days in Russia that almost broke us. We kept going, because we knew God had a plan for us and for Caate. When nothing made sense, He made sense!!!

My favourite song was "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns, during our journey to Caate. I learned what it meant to praise God during the most horrific storms of our adoption. Not that it was easy to do, but I knew it was what He was asking of me. Did I trust Him with our girl?...then praise Me too. I think some of my best days...were the days I followed God without looking back. When I was consumed with God. When I desired to follow Him, serve Him in my daily life, and when I chose Him over worldly things that got in the way of really SEEING Him. When I chose to think positively about our adoption, and not fall down and cry my eyes out. Those are the days I think back on and know I chose to think about my daughter, and not me and my circumstance. Whatever I was going through, was nothing compared to NOT having a Mama and a Papa...and never getting to know the one that loved her more than anyone....her Heavenly Father, GOD. Caate never forgets to pray before nap time or bed time. If I forget, She reminds me! :-) It's like she knows that there's someone much bigger and more amazing (as hard as it is to imagine! ) than Papa and Mama...and she desires to get to know Him. And, she prays, " Dear Jesus, thank you for "Mama,Papa,...etc etc" ....all on her own. Talk about a tear jerker! Talk about an answer to prayer. I've prayed for so long, that she would desire to know Jesus, to want Him in her life. I never imagined that her first sentences would be in prayer. Isn't God good?!

Well, that's what's on my heart today. So thankful for lessonsed learned...so thankful for those who also helped us through. And, I'm feeling so blessed today.

If today you feel like giving up in your adoption journey, the days are hard, there seems to be no hope, the costs keep going up....DON'T! Please don't. There is a little boy or girl with your name imprinted on their heart. You need to keep going. You need to lift your chin up and keep going. You need to cast all your cares on God...cause He cares for YOU! Let Him take your heavy load...and Praise Him for the storms of your journey. What would have happened if we would have listened to those people who said to us, "Are you sure you are supposed to be doing this? Are you sure you're supposed to adopt?" Just because it's tough...doesn't mean God wants you to quit. God doesn't promise an easy life...but He promises to carry us through! Trusting God with everything was the best decision I ever made...I hope you will too. :-)

Here are a few pictures of Caate from the weekend. :-) Enjoy!

Back to work....

2010-09-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

Well,

Terence is back at work after being off 9 weeks!!! I thought I would have been a wreck this morning. Having to get up, get all 3 kids ready for school, and get out the door on time. But, it really felt like any regular day! I'm totally surprised! The only thing I have to do different is make lunches the night before...other than that I get up regular time and still get Caate ready, hair done, fed and teeth brushed! AMAZING! She's pretty easy though....other than a slow eater! LOL! When she came home she was a rock star eater....ate so fast!! Now, she doddles! oh well, the honeymoon had to end at some point. :-) At least she eats what I feed her! :-)

Wow, 9 weeks is over. We were talking the other night about how much we've done in 9 weeks. Here are some of the things: We left for Russia, endured the trials Caate put us through in Russia, Trennon was sick the whole 3 weeks in Russia...most likely pnuemonia, Terence had the stomache bug the whole trip, then got pneumonia and was sick for 3 weeks after we got home, we camped 2 times, took Caate to our local amusmement park 2 times, spent the first month after getting home just with the 5 of us...having lots of family time, getting to see Caate smile at us for the first time 20 minutes into the flight from Ufa to Moscow on August 4th (gotcha day!), taking her to church 3 or 4 times now and she really likes it, taking her to school to drop off the boys and pick then us...and to see how much she LOVES it, etc etc etc. I could go on and on. We've been home over 6 weeks now and it just feels good to know how well she's adjusted. She got a clean bill of health from her doctors and with that we are pleased! She's happy, and loves life! What more could you ask for?! :-) A Happy Girl = A Happy Mama!

Terence also did a lot of work around the yard and the house since he's been off. The "boot room" is almost finished. He just has to install the cabinets! (that he built himself!) I can't wait! I'll have to do a before and after picture for you when it's done. Hopefully by the weekend! At least winter will be a little more enjoyable with places to put wet jackets and snow pants for 5 people! The 5th person sure increased the amount of clothes and shoes hanging around the entry way! Especially a girl! I can't tell you how many jackets and shoes she has!!!!!!!! It's insane! We've been given an unbelieveable amount of gifts and hand me downs. We feel so blessed!

So, what does Mother and Daughter have planned for the coming months?? Well....Caate and I start Gymnastics together TODAY!!!! I am sooo excited! Caate is ready...she is energetic and ready to DO something on a regular basis. It's a parented class so I get to participate too! I did this same class with Ryden and we both loved it. Hopefully Caate will love it too. She's fearless and flexible, loves to run and loves to jump....so I'm thinking this is the perfect sport for her! :-) What Russian isn't good at gymnastics?! LOL! I am just looking forward to having some fun with her. Doing daughter/mom stuff. Shopping, playing dolls (and cars!), cleaning the house together, going to the park, having friends over...just the two of us.

Ryden has started Beavers again and starts indoor soccer in a couple weeks. Trennon is one more evaluation for soccer (tonight!) and then he starts developmental soccer 3 days a week. It will be a busy fall, but a fun one. We have a couple trips planned to see family which will be fun. Hopefully the snow holds off so we can enjoy the fall a little. It's been a cold one here in Calgary this fall. Oh well, what can you do! :-)

Well, that's the update! Regular life is about the start!

Love,
Carala

Happy 8th Birthday Trennon!

2010-09-18T10:08:00.000-07:00

My little baby boy is all grown up! :-( Hard to believe it's been 8 years since I first held him in the hospital....I was such a happy mama. He was sooo cute! Everyone said he looked like an old man! He looked very mature from day 1, and if you know Trennon today...he is still that very mature boy! I love you sooo much Trennon and we are both so proud of the big boy you've become. You have a heart of gold, always thinking of others, and have a very special love for God. You truly are one amazing son and I feel so blessed to have you as my oldest boy. You have patience like no one I know. You waited so long to meet your sister...you were there in the tough times and still held your head up high. You never gave up hope! You shed tears with me when the chips were down and when we finally saw her picture for the first time. You have strength and passion and always looks on the bright side of life. I love you very much. :-) Have a very Happy Birthday my boy!!!!

Here are a few pictures from Trennon's party yesterday! He had a few boys over for some Wii time and then they went to Shakers to play laser tag, climbing wall, go-karts and mini golf!!!!

Caate and I just had some girl time while they partied! It was the first party I haven't been at. :-( Oh well, everyone had fun...including Caate and I! We shopped, ate and had a KUPATSA (a bath!!!!...something she loves the most in life!)

Trennon was pretty stoked about his gifts!

Meant to Be - Steven Curtis Chapman

2010-09-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

This song, "Mean to Be" by Steven Curtis Chapman is featured in the new Veggie Tales video , due to come out October 2nd! Just wanted to post it just in case you hadn't heard about it! Thanks Stacey for posting this as well! :-)

1 month Anniversary - Gotcha Day

2010-09-06T13:16:00.000-07:00

So, September 4th has come and gone. We were camping on September 4th..and celebrated 1 month since Caate has been in our lives. So much has happened...time has flown by. We've camped twice now and gone to Calaway park (amusement park) twice as well in the last month with Caate. She loves both! She's always on the go and always happy. She is a bright light in our lives. :-) She loves going to the boys school to pick them up and drop them off. She feels pretty comfortable there already...sometimes too comfortable for mama. :-) I have to keep a watchful eye on this girl of mine!!! She listens very well though and doesn't push the boundaries too much. So, we are sooo thankful for that! LOL!

Caate LOVES the bath...anything with water! We were just camping this weekend with Grandma and Grandpa(which was fun!) and she got to play in the lake for the first time. She kept pointing to her feet, which were full of dirty sand. Wasn't too sure about that! She dumped water (cold) on herself and then wanted to dump water on me! She had soo much fun! We even took the kayak out and she loved the boat. When we had the boat sitting at the campsite she would sit in it and just smile. At one point she laid down in it and had a sleep for 10 minutes! (as in picture above) We just laughed!

Caate loved getting to know grandma and Grandpa on our trip camping. This was the first time since the airport that my parents got to spend with her. She really did well with them. Grandpa teased her and she really liked that. And, grandma even got to hold her hand and got some kisses from her too. We are all looking forward to going to visit them at their house at Thanksgiving in 1 month! Caate does well in the car (except for the million or so, "mama! mama! papa! papa!" when she does something or sees something outside the window!) so the road trip will be fine. She will get to meet her cousins and aunt and uncle for the first time while we are there too so that will be fun! So many firsts for Caate! She really enjoys it all though. She loves a new adventure and she loves her little life. She fits into our family so well, it's also unbelieveable! I never dreamed it would be this good. It will be interesting to see how she does when the boys activities start in the next few weeks, and when Terence starts back at work again after being off 9 weeks! I think it will be her toughest adjustment yet. But, she will do fine!! I have no doubt about that. :-)

I am looking forward to having some little friends over in the next few weeks. I have some lined up, one being my friend Stacey and her son Corbin that came home from Russia about 6 weeks before Caate! We are both looking forward to that. Stacey and our family were both with the same adoption agency for Russia until changed back in February. Thankfully she made it though and came home with Corbin in June! We both have been looking forward to this day when we can sit on our deck and sip lemonade and talk about the days gone by and the amazing days to come with our darling little kids! It's been a long time coming for both of us....but I definitey can say it was ALL WORTH IT!!

We have some great little trips planned over the next couple of months. Us Jellema's never stay still!!! I remember when I told my mom we'd be sticking close to home over the month or so after Caate comes home. You know, to get her used to her home and for her to settle into our life. My mom said something like this, "why would you do that? You guys are always on the go, that's what she's got to get used to!!" Well, that's so true! And, now that she knows home...we're back to our normal routine of going place!! We have a couple trips to our place in Panorama, a trip to Grandma and Grandpa's and then the last cousin on my mom's side gets married in Edmonton so we'll be heading up there for a weekend at the end of October. Lots of fun planned...and I know Caate will love it as much as the rest of us! :-)

Until next time...

Carala (for all the J's...including the littlest one, Caate!)
** here's the boys on "dress up" Friday at school this week! Aren't they just handsome! ;-)

update

2010-08-26T12:55:00.001-07:00

As you can see....we got some professional photos done! Some good friends took these photos for us this week, we had a lot of fun! These are only the first couple they sent us as a sneak peak...there will be many more to come. I can't wait to see the rest! :-)

The first picture says it all. Our friends found this wall downtown that had this written on it...and nothing else. And, Caate pointed to the words all on her own. It's like God was saying....see, I took care of you, I helped you through it, and now you have your Caate. And, you NEVER GAVE UP! So many times...we were tempted to. So many valleys that looked like we'd never get out of them. But, God always showed us a way out. Even though it was hardly ever in our timing (the fast route!), we trusted Him (sometimes reluctantly!) and look at the result. Yes, it took 3 years and 7 months...but I have to say...she's SO worth it!

Caate is adorable (as you can see!). She laughs and smiles all the time. She loves to run and play and jump and slide and be a crazy fearless girl! She's definitely our girl! Trennon and Ryden are just loving her. Yes, she gets into Ryden's cars and doesn't want to give Trennon as many hugs and kisses as he'd like...but that's just sibling stuff! She is in crazy love with her brothers and we all think she is just the best. She's a rock star sleeper...does 12 hour nights and doesn't get up to pee even! She's never had an accident and eats everything that's put in front of her. No complaints. Now, I'm sure we'll eventually get some complaints...but for now I'm going to enjoy this! She even naps 2-3 hours every afternoon...could life be better than this? NO! :-)

We were never sure how much we'd get out in the first 4 weeks of having her home. We just weren't sure how the transition would go. Well, she's been so at ease with her "new" life that we've even been out camping for a few nights with her already! And, we've only had her 3 weeks! She LOVED camping...totally her thing. She's an outside girl, loves to bike and loved the pool at the campground. She loves to swim too...we could not have been matched with a more perfect girl for our family! The wait was worth it baby!

So, to families out there...waiting and waiting and waiting for your child to be matched with you, it's for a reason!!! Your child may not be ready for you yet. As much as we cursed at having the change agencies in February...we never would have got matched with Caate if we hadn't have. Caate had a hard adjustment to the orphanage...when she finally started to talk (end of February of this year)...that's when they said she was ready to be placed with an international family. We changed agencies Feb 11 and Feb. 26 we got her proposal. So, God's timing is perfect...so perfect. And, thankfully I listened to God when He said we needed to change agencies. As scary and difficult as it was to do...we just felt deep down that God was asking us to do this, so we just had to be obedient. To me it didn't make any sense to throw a ton of money down the toilet and all those years were gone. But, He knew what was waiting for us...our beautiful daughter!!! So, hang in there. Keep trusting, keep holding on to hope. Know that God's plan is amazing. And, in the end you will be holding your child and all the pain and agony and despair will be behind you. Adoption is not only for the tough ones, but for those that will also reach out and ask friends and family and those that have gone before you(like us!)...for support. You need a support network to help you through the tough times. Cause, there will be tough times!!!! But, our story is proof that you will make it through! You can do this! So, I just want to encourage you to keep with it...and NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With much love,
Carala

more photos!!!!!

2010-08-13T06:44:00.000-07:00

My Girl....Caate (pronounced "Kate" :-) )

2010-08-10T22:10:00.000-07:00

My Blog is open to everyone once again!

2010-08-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I've decided to re-open my blog to everyone. Since we are home and there is no need to keep our journey privatized.

Hope you all enjoy catching up on our journey! We have been home since Saturday and things are going great with our little Caate! :-)

Love,
Carala
**I will post soon. I've been extremely tired...go figure, I have 3 children now! LOL! :-)

GOTCHA DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-03T23:20:00.001-07:00

GOTCHA DAY - AUGUST 4th, 2010

We made it! 3 years and 7 months later...our girl is finally ours for life! We can't tell you how happy we are...to have Caate in our lives. She is so precious, so beautiful, so perfect for our family. She is giving, caring, helpful, determined, creative and passionate! We know it will take time for Caate to blossom into a beautiful flower, but in time she will show us all her beauty that she possesses.

Today we celebrate her! We celebrate the beginning of a new family. And an exciting journey ahead of us! Yes, it won't be without challenges...but we know if we can get through 3 1/2 years of challenges...we can get through anything...with God's help and guidance. And, with the love you all of you, our friends of family. Thank you for being a part of our journey, for always listening when we needed an ear, and always encouraging when the chips were down. We will never forget all the people that helped us get here. To you, we are grateful!! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you...from the bottom of our hearts. :-)

And to God...we am thankful!! With Him....all things are possible! Without Him...we never would have found our girl. We figure God must have an amazing plan for Caate, if he went to all this trouble to bring her into our family. :-) We are looking forward to being a family and anxious to see what else God has planned for us.

With love,
Carala, Terence, Trennon, Ryden and Caate! :-)

**when we get some pictures of Caate smiling...I'll post them. So far....we have none! :-)

a Jellema update from Russia!

2010-07-31T01:11:00.000-07:00

Hello!!!! Yes, we are still alive! :-) As you can imagine...it's been a crazy journey these last few weeks. Having to deal with jet lag, 2 children (well 3 actually!), getting used to different food, bad stomaches, Trennon's bad cold, and a bunch of other things. Plus, figure out how to get Caate to want to be with us! LOL! Out of everything, that has been the toughest and most difficult challenge. Behind closed doors, Caate would tell her caregivers and friends how much she wanted to be with us and how she liked her new mama and papa and brothers. Yet, when push came to shove....Caate screamed in our presence. Slowly day by day we had to try different things. But, nothing was working. We spend the first week going to the orphanage, but no progress was being made. All her friends loved us! We had a great time interacting with them...but Caate wanted nothing to do with us. No treat or toy or forced alone time with her made a difference. The caregivers were beside themselves. We were too. Until, we(Terence and I) add the idea to have her come to our apartment for visits each day. The baby home agreed to this (to our amazement!) and we started just spending 1 hour - 1 1/2 hours each day just with Caate. Lilia our host was here to help with any translating. We started this on Sunday...and by Thursday this week we decided to do 2 visits a day with her...since things were starting to go better. Today, we even got to venture outside for our time...since Caate doesn't cry now with us. It was so nice to just be able to go somewhere with her...we finally felt like a family of 5 for the first time!!! Yes, each step is a baby step...but baby steps are so much better than no steps at all! We are very thankful that things are starting to get better. :-)

So, that is the short update. Monday is the last day before we "technically" can call Caate ours! But, because our court date was moved up and our friends was moved back...we won't get Caate til Wednesday, the day we leave Sterlitamak for Moscow. Which is fine. There's paperwork to do and stuff anyway. Kind of complicated...but, just know we are just excited about leaving with her on Wednesday!!!

Tomorrow we start to pack up. I think we may have just done our last load of wash. No dryers here...so everything is line dried. It's definitely been an experience living with a family. Especially with the boys with us! We've all had our upset stomaches...mine of course happened the night we decided to go out to our hosts' Dacha(summer home). Ya, nice. I spend half the time in their "outhouse". Now, I've been in many outhouses in my life...but none like this. Just a hole in the wood floor. Thankfully I made it home and by morning I was fine. I think it was the raw cabbage salad. Ya, I've avoided cabbage altogether ever since. LOL!!! The food hasn't been too bad though. Lilia is a great cook. It's just so different than how we eat...so the boys have had a hard time...but I forgot to pack peanut butter for Trennon. So, it's been a lot tougher on the boys than it could have been. :-)

We got to experience a Russian Orthodox church...a neat experience for the boys especially. And, we've been to a Russian amusement park with great rides. They had a lot of fun there! All in all we've done well. Just all ready to be home. And, to have Caate in our lives forever. It's not fun having to visit her 2-3 hours a day...we want her 24/7!!! But, we're sooo close now. In just a few days we won't have been be away from her ever again. I really think things will go better with her once we're together non stop. She won't be able to escape us any longer! :-) hee hee!

We know the road ahead will not be all roses...but we are excited to see the plans God has for our family. :-) Thank you all for continuing to journey with us. For praying for us and for encouraging us.

A few days ago I heard these words in my heart, spoken by God. "Good things are to come Carala, don't worry. Good things are to come!" He really has been the strength of my heart this week. There's a great song that says those words, "God is the strength of my heart"...and really, without Him leading us and guiding us this week...I don't know how we would have made it through. We had some rough days. But, we made it through and God helped us figure out a good way to make head way with Caate. Thanks for praying for us!!! The end of this part of the journey is almost finished....and the REAL journey with Caate and our family is about to begin!!! I've dreamed about this for soooo long...we all have! And now, we're just a few days away from being a family of 5...forever. We're sooo happy that Caate will have a "forever home"!!!!! And, we're so happy that SHE was chosen for us...cause we are the luckiest family around! She is soooo beautiful, so strong, and has such a caring passionate heart for others. We think she will fit into our family JUST fine! :-)

I don't know when I will post again. Gotcha day is Wednesday August 4th, but I don't think I will be able to until at least the 5th or 6th. On August 7 we jump on a plane at 7am Moscow time and we get home at 11:15am Calgary time on August 7th! So, we'll see if somewhere in there I can post a family pic!!!! :-)

With much love,

Carala (for Terence, Trennon, Ryden and Caate!)

We're alive and well and through Court!!!!!

2010-07-21T02:23:00.001-07:00

Well, we're finally getting over jet lag....so I think I can write without getting too exhausted. :-)

Here's how the journey has gone so far...I'm sure you've been anxiously waiting.

July 17 we left Calgary. We hopped on a plane and landed in Ufa, Russia on July 18 at almost midnight. Our driver picked us up and we started the almost 2 hour drive to Sterlitamak, Caate's hometown of almost 300,000 people. En route we got a phone call from our translator that our court date was moved and now we are too be in court in 10 hours, instead of the following day. Oh my goodness. So, we got to Sterlitamak at 1:30am and we quickly put the boys to bed and ironed our clothes for court. We slept from 2:00am – 5:30am and the got up, showered and ate breakfast before jumping in the car again at 8am on our way back to Ufa...where court was being held. Don't ask me why we didn't just get a hotel in Ufa that night and skip the car commute. But, I think they just wanted to keep us safe with our host family. Anyway, we got to Sterlitamak just before 10am for our court proceedings. This all felt quite surreal. I sat in court, almost wanting to pinch myself. I just got off a plane from a 25 + hour journey and now we're in court? This is just insane!!!! I was happy to get court over with. While at the same time I wanted to take in this moment as it was the moment Caate would enter our family for life. A very special moment that I know I will never forget. Court went just fine. Our speeches were great (according to our translator) and I didn't cry. Which I was told was the best thing I could have done. I figured crying in a Russian court wouldn't be too highly looked upon. :-) And, I was right. It was hard to keep my emotions on the level as it was an emotional time. Caate would be apart of our family for the rest of our lives...and if I would have let myself I could have just balled. At 11:30am we became official parents of Caate. :-) Now, we wait out the 10 days period. Well, actually 14 days...not including weekends. :-) So, on August 4th we will be official, OFFICIAL parents of Caate. We get to pick her up at the baby home and take her to Moscow to get her visa for coming home. We will spend 3 days there...and leave on August 7 for the big trip from Moscow to Canada!!! We arrive home at 11:15am and hope a bunch of our friends and family will show up at the airport to welcome our daughter home!!!! It will be the icing on the cake to have all who supported us these last 3 ½ years there to greet us! So, if you are one of them...please come and meet us!!! :-)

Our first visit with Caate was on July 19th at 5pm. Of course she cried. Poor girl. She's having a hard time with us. But, we know each day it will get better. Our 2nd day was July 20th and we had 2 visits. One at 10am and one at 4:30pm. These will be our regular visiting times for the entire time we are here. We play outside during this time. It's about 1 ½ – 2 hours of visiting. Since she doesn't accept us very well at this point...we just end up playing with her, with her group of about 12 kids ages 3-4. We could tell right away the kids really missed us! And, remembered us!!! We were happy to see them all. What a great group she is a part of and such well behaved children. :-) I think we make this a little wild and out of control at times...but that's fine too ( at least in our minds!)...they are kids afterall. :-)

The boys have made a great connection with Caate. They can be beside her and she doesn't feel threatened by them. Us, on the other hand. Well, she cries when we hold her. But, we know the time it will take for her to allow us into her heart. Each visit, we make baby steps. So, if you are the praying kind, can I ask you to pray for our little Caate? That somehow she will be able to let her defences down and allow us a little each day to break down the walls between us. :-) When she lets a smile out...it is the most beautiful thing in the world. She shines a light that is just gorgeous!!!! She like the bubbles today and did jump around a bit for them and smiled as she caught them. She brings out Hope Bear ever time too. And, you can tell it has been well loved by her already. :-) I'd love to see her sleep at night with |Hope in her arms. I know, she is trying her best to love us in her way. A little bit at a time. God has been so good to us. Giving us the patience we need to move a little closer to her each day. We know we have been given 13 more days to visit her...in total 26 more visits...the get closer to our daughter. So, by the time we take her for good...she will be willing to go with us. I look foward to that day...as does the the boys. The boys miss home...yet love going to spend time with her. The boys are such a great gift to us. They are bridging the gap between her and us. We are thankful that they are here and I love the experience they are getting in a foreign country and in a new culture. They are both great traveller and have done well with the food. Especially Trennon. Ryden is a homebody so I'm especially proud of him for doing so well here. He's not keen on the food, but is trying things he would have not wanted to at home. Our host is a very good cook and makes him balini for breakast (pancakes). He LOVES that. Trennon loves her soups for lunch and eats way more stuff than I could have imagined him eating!!! We think he will be a traveller one day....well, I guess he already is , actually!!! He just goes with the flow. And, he's also the one fighting a cold during all of this. What a trooper! Thankfully we got medicine before we left so he's been taking that twice a day. So far he's doing ok. Hopefully by the end of the week it gets a lot better. Now, that the boys are sleeping through the night...I think he will start to get better. It sure didn't help that he was getting absolutely no sleep as he can't sleep during the day time. Ryden, has no problems with that! :-) I think he gets that from me! I could sleep all the time!

Ter and I are doing great. Now that I'm getting over jet lag...I'm feeling like I have a little more energy. I only woke at 6:30am this morning after going to bed at 10:30. Not bad. Each day will get better. Not bad for a 12 hour time change!!!

Well, that's it for now. We go in 1 ½ for our 5th visit with her. This visit is always the worst one as she is tired from her day and it's almost supper time for her. I hope it will be a good visit and we make more of a connection with her. During this visit our friends will almost be there with their new daughter. We have loved getting to know them and we know we have made friends for life. They live a long ways away in Toronto...but I know we will always stayed connected because of our girls. :-) It would be fun to get together one day when our lives are more settled.

That's the update I'm sure you've all been waiting for. We are feeling a lot settled in to our routine now. We hope to do a few more adventures during our free time with the boys. We saw there is an amusement park right here in Sterlitamak!!! The boys were excited about that. So, one day our driver will take us! We can't wait!!! Our own little Calaway park!!!! (just like the one in Calgary!) Our driver took us to a “pet store” today....and we saw a monkey. Not, what we typically have in a pet store....so the boys loved that!!! I'm sure we'll go back and visit it again. They are different animals and reptiles that we don't normally have in our stores. So, it's kind of fun. We are finding more things to do for fun than I thought. :-)

Anyway, must run. Hope all is well with everyone. I don't get on to check blogs at all but will one day.... I promise! :-)

with love,

Carala

A Note for Caate

2010-07-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Caate,

Tomorrow we fly to Russia! We are so excited this journey TO you is about to end, and a life WITH you is about to start. You are our sunshine, you are our daughter and sister. And, we all anxious to start our life with you.

We know these next few weeks are going to be tough on you. We don't know what your reaction will be to us. We know you are scared..but at the same time we know your desire to hug us and love us. And, to have a mama and papa...and 2 brothers. We will take it one day at a time. Know, we love you soo much (I think you'll figure that out pretty quick!).

I can't wait to have you home. To show you your new world. To introduce you to our friends, and your new friends. And, I can't wait for you to get to know a little about Jesus...the one who lead us along this long road, who guided us all the way, and gave us the strength we needed to be patient for 3 1/2 long years. It was sooo worth it though, and God made it all possible for each little thing to fall into place...in his perfect timing. I long for so many things Caate. I long to hold you and rock you and sing you to sleep. I long to kiss you all over and make you laugh a big giant giggle. I can't wait to be your mama. The one you go to for kisses for all your hurts. To walk beside you, hold your hand, and watch you ride a bike for the first time. To continue playing soccer like we did at the baby home. :-)

Soon Caate, the day is coming when we can do all of this. :-) And, that makes me truly happy inside. Knowing all my dreams are coming true.

I love you. I can't WAIT to be with you...forever.

Love,
your forever mama

4 days to go!!!

2010-07-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

So, 4 days until we are off to Russia to be with our girl! We leave Saturday at 1pm and we're back at 11:30am on Saturday August 7th!!! 3 weeks exactly! If you are in town and would like to meet us at the airport...you are certainly welcome! The bigger the crowd the better!!!! :-)
We are on a Lufthansa flight from Frankfurt(international arrivals) at about 11:30am. Don't remember the flight number! :-) Hope we see some of you there!

We figure it's a great time for people to see us and Caate before we go into succlustion for a bit. We don't know how Caate is going to react to her new "world". So, we probably will be just hanging out exploring her world with her, getting to know her and her, us! That may be for a month or so. All depending on her. So, if we don't call, or write and return your phone calls...it's because we're just taking time to get our life figured out, quietly. :-) I'm sure you understand. :-)

I can't promise how much I'll write when I get home. I know some people promise they will, and then don't. I don't want to disappoint people. I hope I will again, when a little some time...whenever that will be!! LOL! I hope to give some updates in Russia...and will post pics when we get home at the end of this all! :-) She is a sweet sweet girl and soooo beautiful!

Thank you all once again...for being there for us, for loving us, and for getting us through a difficult but exciting 3 1/2 years! God was amazing through it all and we give Him all the glory for bringing her into our lives. We are so thankful for all we've been through and all we're about to go through. The adventure is only beginning!!! We are so excited to start our life with her. And to give her the love she deserves. :-) And, we can't wait for her to love us back. And, we have dreamed of sharing our lives with her for sooo long...we can't wait to start! :-)

With love and hope in our hearts...
Carala

Introducing... :-)

2010-07-06T13:33:00.001-07:00

Introducing……Caate Rae Jellema

The darling little girl we’ve dreamed of for 3 ½ years…is coming home. Caate was born February 9, 2007…just 1 month after Terence said to me…maybe we should adopt! Who would have thought that our adventure would only start there? And almost 3 ½ years later we are almost to completion. On July 17th, we head to Russia, and our plane arrives back home August 7th; as a family of 5! So exciting.

Now, about the name. :-)

Ekaterina is her Russian name. Which, translates to Catherine in English. Now, let’s back the story up to when I was pregnant with Trennon in 2002. If Trennon was going to be a girl, his name was going to be Makenna Catherine Rae. Catherine, after my grandmother, who past away just over a year ago…and was very special to me. And Rae…my grandfathers name and one of my middle names, who was also very special to me. But, then we had Trennon John (middle name after Terence’s dad) and Ryden Terence. So, my hope for Makenna Catherine Rae was over. Well, until we started talking about our little girl to be. When we got the proposal of Ekaterina….you can only imagine how fast my heart was racing inside. After dreaming so long of my little girl and what her name would be…and then to see her name was Catherine all along and we just never knew it. I could hardly believe it!

So, we decided to shorten it to Caate (pronounced KATE)…with a little different spelling. Cause, we wanted to make her unique…just like her brothers! And Rae, for my amazing grandfather who was a very special man in my life.

I can't post pictures until "Gotcha Day". (that's the very special day when she's ours for life, in the adoption world!). Our Gotcha Day, will be August 4th. That is also the day we leave Sterlitamak, Bashkortostan with her....her home and birth place. We will spend 3 days in Moscow getting her visa and passport for Canada...and arrive home August 7th! We hope you will join us for a celebration at the airport on our arrival. I will post flight arrival times as soon as we have them!

Thanks again for joining us so far on our very special and incredible journey. We couldn't have made it this far without you! And, this is really only the beginning. We know we have a lot to learn over the next months as we get to know Caate and she gets to know us. It's going to be a crazy ride but we're soooo ready for it!

love,
Carala, Terence, Trennon, Ryden...and now Caate. :-)

We're back!

2010-06-28T05:07:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,

We're back safe and sound. It was soooo good to see the boys.

What a crazy week! We had a great time. I hope to write more later...but have so much to do so I can't be long right now.

We have a court date of July 20th...so we go back on July 16 with our boys. Our facilitator and orphanage staff are excited for the boys to come. They feel that Ekaterina will be put more at ease with them there. We're so happy about that! Also, our host family and their english speaking daughter will sit with our boys outside court! So, my mom will not be going with us. Everything is taken care of, which is amazing. I'm so glad I didn't worry about any of this!!!! Cause there was no need to worry.

About Ekaterina....

She is a sweet sweet sweet girl. And sooo beautiful!!!! Wow! She is very shy and her defenses were up most of the week. So, it was a hard week in a lot of respects...but a wonderful one at the same time. We made some head way with her and could be in her vacinity more towards the end. We did have some special moments with her that we will never forget. I got to play soccer with her(and throw the ball) and she had a big smile on her face to whole time. Terence got to hold her and 3 of her friends at one time and spin them around. It's these small but amazing moments we will never forget. As much as we would have loved to hold her and throw her in the air and just be close to her...we know that will take time. Lots of time. But, we were much closer to her after the 9th visit verses the first visit where she screamed and wouldn't even look at us.

Since Ekaterina didn't let her be close to her...we got to spend lots of time getting to know her group (the kids she lives with!). There are about 10-12 of them and they LOVED us from the very start. It was so crazy...cause everyone at the orphanage bonded to us from the start...except our duaghter. We know the pressure she had on her this week and we know how much she wanted to just throw her arms around us like her friends. I can't imagine the heart ache she went through this week. I could have cried the whole week...but I held it together. (that's a big thing for me!). I felt so sad for her and I understood why she was the way she was. She's been through a lot in her 3 years of life. I get it. But, it was still hard to stand back and give her space. The mama in me just wanted to go hold her and love her and kiss her and hug her. It took all the was in me....to just let her be. The great thing is....she has attached to all the caregivers and LOVES them deeply. And they are soooo happy she has found her forever family. :-)

Sorry this is short...but there is so much to do in the next few weeks.

One last thing.....Ekaterina took my hand at the end of one of our visits and brought me inside and all the way up to show us her area where they have locker for their outside clothes and where their play room is. We haven't seen her room yet...but hopefully next trip! :-) what a sweet, beautiful, smart, and helpful girl she is! So happy to call her mine.... :-)

Love,
Carala

the count down is on!!!

2010-06-16T14:03:00.000-07:00

So, it's been one busy week. Lots to do to get ready to go! Tying loose ends up and getting the house ready for my mom to arrive to take care of the boys. I'm run off my feet...but it's going well. :-)

I have 132 hours left before we meet our daughter for the first time. You don't know how good that feels to say it in hours...and not days!!!!!! :-) We leave Sunday and come back the following Sunday. It's going to be one quick trip...but hopefully it won't be more than 4-8 weeks before we go back.

Anyway, just a quick one to let you all know we're alive...just a little busy. :-)

We won't have internet while we are there...so I won't be updating my blog. I will do some posts when I return.

Love,
Carala

the latest...

2010-06-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

So, we moving along here. We received our passports back with the VISAS in them! So happy to get them back in our possession! Courier companies ALWAYS make me nervous! :-)

We had to go to our local police...the other thing we tried didn't work out. It looked so different than the local police report we just didn't want to take a chance. So, we went down to the Calgary police department on Monday a.m....and showerd our travek itinerary (thanks for the tip Carla!) and they said it would be done in a week. So, Monday I just have to go downtown and pick it up! SOOOOOO happy. Oh, and we were just told that there are 2 consulatesI...so even though 1 is closing for 2 weeks...the other is open. So, we will have no problem getting the legalizing done etc. Don't ask me why they even told us the one was closing. What does it matter if there is another one open? I think I missed something in all of that. Anyway! We are just happy that we will get a lot of this done with no issues. We sent our medicals to our agency so they can start on that stuff. We won't get our social workers licence for a bit yet...so that is all we are waiting on at this point. I hope we can get it before we go. But, I am not worried. I feel pretty relaxed. EXHAUSTED, but relaxed! :-) Everything will come. God has taken great care of everything. And, it's all coming together!

So, that's the update! We have 11 days to go!! Still doesn't feel real. I can't believe it yet. It's just so unreal. So, pray for us. We have lots to do before we go. Lots to plan for and lots of loose ends to tie up (with leaving the boys with my mom). But, that will come too. It's just tiring...and I am already tired. But, my girl is sooo worth it! :-) I am looking forward to the time between trips. Yes, there will be things to do, but the boys will be off and we won't have all the running around to do for soccer and t-ball! :-)

Anyway, must go to bed. I am exhausted! :-)

...Carala

updates....

2010-06-04T11:22:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are again. Having to update all our docs...medicals, criminals, and new social worker license that we just found out expires at the end of June. Great timing all around! Just LOVE the updating! (NOT!)

Yes, it's been stressful. But, God is good. I found an agency that can do crim checks in 3 days...and they cost less than going to your own cop shop. Plus, they work over the weekend. SWEET! So, hopefully by Tuesday or Wednesday we'll have those back...and our medicals are done. So, we wait a couple weeks for our social worker's license to come in...and then, VOILA! Ya, sounds sooo easy doesn't it. Ya, not. I've been so stressed...since I wasn't expecting to have to do them again so soon. But, everything expires after 3 months...ya, forgot about that! Oh well, God is good and is giving me a bit of sanity in all of this. I can feel the prayers of others and I know....that in 2 week and 2 days...we'll be on a plane to Russia. SO! How can you NOT be happy?! :-)

To my darling girl,

Yes, this has been a rough road...but for you, I'd do anything. :-) We love you, and are counting down the days til we get to hold you and play with you. Some days (most days!) I still feel like we're in a dream world. Is this really happening? It feels too good to be true. But, we have our tickets booked and we're gathering up clothes(thanks to your Auntie Kristen and Uncle Karmen) and some toys to take to your orphanage. I hope you like some of the things we bought. We'll get to do bubbles together and puzzles and play with the bear the boys made you. I can't wait! I hope this day of meeting us won't be too scary for you. Of course I dream of a perfect day...but I know how scared you will be. Know, I understand. :-) I'm a little scared too! :-) But, it will be soooo fun when we get to just play together and hopefully I'll get some hugs and kisses too! You girl, are so worth every hurdle we are having to jump over! Yes, I may complain and shed a few tears...but they because I just want you home and it's all of these things that are standing in our way to make that happen! We love you, and we are sooooo excited to jump on that plane and then make that first walk up to your orphanage. I've dreamed about it a million times...and finally a dream is going to become a reality! It's only because of God's great love for you, that this dream is going to happen. We can't wait to share God's amazing love with you, sweet daughter of ours. Sweet dreams, and soon we'll get to walk hand in hand. :-)

Love,
your forever mama

Plane tickets purchased!!!!

2010-06-02T15:29:00.001-07:00

So,

We just purchased 2 tickets to Russia! We leave June 20th and arrive back June 27th. Wahooooo!

I did medicals today...and on Thursday we'll go get our criminals done again. Oh the fun.

Visas should be back next week by Wednesday for sure. We seem to be ready to go...it's kind of strange.

Well, besides the house is a disaster and I have to clean and bake food for my mom while she is here with the boys. And, I have a bazillion field trips to go on with the boys before school is out and I have coffee meetings and a 6 year old birthday party to throw this weekend, and soccer tournaments and, and, and,......you get the picture! (and that's only the stuff I can remember off hand! LOL )

Oh well, it will get done...or it won't. Either way....we're going to Russia baby to meet our daughter!!!!!!!!

Happy dance oh happy dance! :-)

...Carala

TRAVEL DATES!!!!!!!!

2010-06-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

The day has finally arrived, June 1st, 2010. We are allowed to finally go meet our daughter. We need to be there June 22nd...so we will either fly June 19th or 20th...whatever is cheaper! And, we'll come back sometime after the 26th. Time to book flights! I'm just waiting on a couple different agents!

Sooooooooo excited!!!!!!!! :-)

Carala

VISAS!!!!!!!

2010-05-27T12:52:00.000-07:00

We get to apply for our visas!!!!!! We aren't 100% confirmed yet with our travel dates, but hopefully by tomorrow we will be! I'm sooo excited! June 19 or 20 should be our travel date!

WAHOOOOOOOOO!!!! WE'RE GOING TO MEET OUR DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, gotta run. House to clean and visas to apply for!

love,
a VERY VERY happy mama!

Sorry...no news yet. :-(

2010-05-26T11:55:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Wednesday...and no news. Although we're sure we'll be leaving June 19th or 20th...we really don't know. It's crazy even to think we're leaving...cause so much changes so quickly in Russia. For all we know...we could get delayed. But, we just have to trust that God knows...and will be our strength no matter what happens.

If I was to think optimistically...I would think....WE'RE LEAVING IN 3 WEEKS!!!! We're going to touch and hold and play with our daughter!!!!! My eyes sting with tears when I think about that. It just doesn't seem real. I feel like we're in this holding pattern. Circling, circling and circling some more. Just waiting our turn...and to think...our turn is just around the corner. Wow. Pretty neat. Amazing. Unbelieveable. Incredible.

So excited to book tickets! So excited to get this show on the road! So over the moon to meet my girl. To stand face to face...watching her, watching me. To see her reaction when we show her "Hope" the bear that her brothers made her. To show her pictures of her brothers...I just wonder what she's going to think. I wish I could be in her head, to see what she's thinking at that moment. Does she even believe that we're really going to love her, for real?! If she only could know how hard we've all worked and sacraficed for her...just because we love her....and only her. There's no one else we are doing this for. We want her and long to love her. If she could only understand. It will be a sweet sweet day...when we walk away from her orphanage. Knowing she will never have to go back. Yes, one day we hope to visit again, when she is ready. But, to leave that day...and know she is ours and we are hers. To know the end is near, is within our grasp....it's hard to even imagine let alone get our minds around. Yes, our adoption journey was never supposed to be this long or hard....but in the end it was sooooo worth ever bump, hurdle and mountain that we had to get over. God is good. He took care of us all the way through. No matter how frustrated I got or longed to just let it be over....he gave us the strength to get through another day. And one day at a time, we got here. 12 hundred and 44 days....1 day at a time. And yet...we are not done living it out 1 day at a time. We still have months before she will be ours forever. I think the hardest will be waiting to go back to see her after holding her and loving her during Trip #1. I hear it's the worst part actually. Can you imagine loving your children...and then have to leave them for an indefinite number of months? Yes, we hope we will only have to leave for her for 2 months...but we don't know that for sure. Anything can happen. I know it will be a difficult 2 months...but if I've gotten through the last 1244 days...I know God can get me through another 60 more. I think it would be like running a marathon (not that I've run one or anything, but only could imagine)...you get to the last 5 kms...and think...really, they had to put a hill this late in the course? Really? Did they realize how tired I am? Well, that's us. Tired and ready to be done...yet we know we have a big hill to climb before the finish. With God at our side, we will do it! We will make it...I have no doubt about that. :-)

The party is around the corner folks! I look forward to that day... :-)

with love,
Carala

still waiting...

2010-05-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

well, nothing much new here. Still waiting for our dates of travel. I'm not really expecting them till the end of next week anyway. But, if a week could drag...it was this one. It seemed like it went in slow motion. I spent the week trying to hash out what flights we should take and what amazing price we would get! LOL! Ya, I figured out the flight we'd like....but the price, not so nice. And, as time goes on I'm sure it's only going to go higher unfortunately. But, what can we do? Not much. So, we will pay what we have to pay.

Yesterday I went shopping...yes, I broke down and bought PINK! I really don't have a choice. It's all pretty much pink out there. And personally...if anyone is going to look good in pink...it's my girl. With her black beautiful thick hair and her brown eyes....she will look so adorable in pink. I did buy this cute purple tie dyed dress with leggings....adorable. And, I got the cutest jeans that flare at the bottom (I LOVE jeans!)...of course I bought them in 2 sizes! I'm trying to figure out how many outfits to bring...not too many of course. It's hard to decide! I'm trying not to buy too much stuff cause I don't know exactly which size she will wear yet. When I do know after trip #1 then I can go alittle more crazy. And, I do want to wait until fall clothes come out cause she will hopefully be home in the early fall. Fall is my favorite season for clothes...nice warm sweaters and cords...and jeans of course! So fun. I think I will enjoy buying her fall clothes more than summer. I also found this weaved purse with flowers on it and little tassles. I can't wait to fill it with stuff that little girls love! And, I bought her, her first doll. She is so cute with dark brown hair (and short like hers!) and brown eyes just like her! And, of course a "my little pony". I never had them as a kid...but I think she'll love it. I need a "bag of tricks" to play with while we are there on trip #1. Hopefully she'll really be into one of those things. You just never know what she'll be into.

Well, that's what I've been up to. Just trying to pass the time. The boys seem to be picking up the Russian better than myself! Not surprised if they're anything like their dada! He definitely has a better grasp on lauguages than myself. But, it's going ok. I'm a little nervous about communicating. But, I know it will be fine. We will play plya play...and I know that will make her happy. I keep wondering how our visits will go? Will she even like us? I've heard all sorts of stories about first visits. Some go well...some not so well. I wonder how it will go for us? I just hope she will at least let me hold her by the end of first trip. I know I've been dreaming of this for sooooo long. But, she hasn't. So, it will be interesting. I'm so glad Terence and I will be together. He is sooo great with this age in particular. Kids just go to him. :-) And, I loved when the boys were 3! Such a great age. :-)

.....wahooooooo, my girls bedding just arrived!!!!! It's been 3 months of issues...but it finally made it here! I'm was soooo happy I even cried! Finally...our house is going from a boys only home...to a little bit of girl. :-) See the picture below! I can't wait to finish her room...we've been waiting for her bedding so we can start her room with paint, furniture and decorating! Soooo fun!

Anyway, that's it....

Until next week!
C.

tentitive date!!!!!

2010-05-14T11:55:00.000-07:00

So, quick post cause we're heading camping right now!

We have a tentitive date of June 21 or 22 to be in RUssia. So, would mean traveling either June 18/19/20 to get there in time.

Ryden's Kindergarten grad is June 18th...so we NEED you all to pray (if you are the praying kind!) that we don't have to leave until June 19th at the earliest!!!!! I don't want to miss it!!!!! So pray folks!!! Thank you!

We will know for sure at the end of the month...so another 2 weeks to wait! I'm getting good at this waiting thing! But, this is good news! One step at a time. :-)
Unfortunately we can't book plane tickets yet....so, we're a bit worried about the cost as it's peak travel season in Europe. So, you can pray about that too! thanks!

..Carala (a very VERY happy mama today!)

She is sooooo adorable!!!!

2010-05-05T12:41:00.000-07:00

I almost hugged the puralator man when he came. He said I must be excited about something if I opened the door so quickly! Yes, just a little happy! He was so happy for us and said he doesn't normally get such happy people greeting him! :-)

She is soooo shy. She never smiled in the video...but just did some educational puzzles and followed every instruction perfectly without a sound. It would have been nice to hear her cute little voice...but even so, I am sooooooooo excited to just have a video of her! She is a smart cookie! She had no problem doing the puzzles at all. :-) She is perfect in every way.

I am in a puddle of tears. This is the girl, who we almost declined!!! Well, we did decline, until my friend S. told me about her visit with her and so we felt we should at least travel to visit this little girl. Man, I can't imagine if we would have missed out on having her in our lives!! Already I know how perfectly she will fit into our family! The boys are going to LOVE her as their sister. She has already filled my heart right to the top. I can't wait to hold her little hand, to hug her and play with her. To show her how special she is and that she deserves to be loved with a special love that we are dying to give her.

I am so thankful to God for giving us this special gift today! Yes, it may be ugly and snowy outside...but inside this house it is full of love and excitement. I can't wait for the boys to come home from school! What a party we are going to have!

Thank you all for your prayers, for your love and for all your support. There have been few times in our adoption journey that we have had reason to celebrate! Today is one of those days!!!!! We hit the jackpot today! Nobody gets videos. And it was 6 minutes 23 seconds worth of her, our daughter! So amazing! I know this will help us get through until we are able to travel. :-)

Thank you God for this special gift. :-) You are so incredible!

To my sweet darling, most amazing daughter,

I love you, and as I watch your video I can totally see that you will fit into our family. God made you for us, and us for you. You are so beautiful inside and out and a very smart cookie! I am so thankful that you will soon be in our lives, forever. And, I want you to know, that you were so worth the wait! Our journey to you, started days before you were born....and now God is finally bringing us together, forever. I love you, and can't wait to finally meet you!
love,
your forever Mama. :-)

DMP report and the soon to see video!

2010-05-04T13:59:00.000-07:00

Well, it was a great day today! We received the DMP report (district Medical Practitioner) They assessed our girl on April 7, 2010. It had a little more to say then the first medical we got in February, so that was nice. A little more about the birth mom and a little more about her. So, all in all I am one happy mama today!

And, tomorrow...I will be even happier! We will get a video from our agency of our girl tomorrow!!!!! We will see her walk, maybe talk, but hopefully smile...for the very first time!! So stoked! I don't know if I'll sleep tonight! It's like seeing your baby for the first time. The anticipation of what they'll be like. We've seen many pictures of our girl...but not a girl that is alive and moving. We feel so blessed to be with this region and to have so many that have gone before us, to help us through by bringing back videos and pictures of our daughter. I hope one day, we will be able to do the same for another family. :-)

So, to happy days at the Jellema's!!! I am really enjoying all the blessings God is bestowing on us. Like Trennon said today, the wind was blowing hard all night for a reason.(we had 90km an hour winds!) He was movin' mountains! Yes, He was. Today's gift of the medical and tomorrow's gift of the video are from God. A sampling of the little life that will ours soon. :-) I am a very very very happy mama! :-)

With much love,
Carala

another short update...

2010-05-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

Well, we had the most incredible time at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit! WOW! It's hard to even sum it up! I will do another post soon about our experience, but for now I just wanted to send a quick update on our adoption.

We don't know anything official yet. Our dossier should be in Russia by now, and hopefully this coming week or next so should get our travel dates. I can't believe it's MAY! Wow!

A friend of ours just came back with their new daughter from the same orphanage last week!!!! I am soooo happy for their family. It must be so amazing to be done this process and now start a new chapter in their lives. S., I am soooo happy for you! Know you are in my prayers and thoughts as you embark on this great journey of being a mom! The rewards are great and the fun has just begun!!!

S. also took some video of our daughter, soooooo...we are anxiously waiting to get the clips. They were taken with someone else's video camera, so it may take a few days to get the video. We are trying our best to be patient! :-) I can't wait though! To see our girl in action! WOW! I know I'm going to ball! I hear she is a smart cookie and very shy. But, "lights up like a Christmas tree", as S. put it, when she's with her friends and other children! :-0 Aweeeeee, just like her mama! :-) I was a very VERY shy child. So, this is sooo exciting for me. What a blessing to have someone that has spent some time with our girl. God is so good to us. He has given us a gift most pre-adotive parents don't get before they adopt. To have first hand info, pictures and video of their child. It's unheard of with most Russian adoptions. We feel so blessed! It really has given me the "ok" to fall hard for this little one. I love her more and more every day. I've let my guard down a lot in 2 months. I know God has given me the ability to just let go and trust Him. I'm not scared to love her and give my heart to her anymore. I am thankful for that! :-)

Well, time to go. Amazing race "date" with my honey! :-)

...Carala

2 days!!

2010-04-26T15:09:00.000-07:00

We are 2 days away from going to the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in Minneapolis, MN!!!! We are so excited for many reasons! For one, we heard about it from my sister-in-law just a few weeks ago...and decided we should GO! We are looking forward to the time we'll get to spend with them. They have a real passion for Orphan ministry and work for The CoMission for Children at Risk, equipping believers to minister to orphans in Russia and Eastern Europe.

We've been wanting to attend a conference on Adoption and Orphan care for awhile and I didn't think we'd get to go before our adoption was complete! But, God made a way for us to fly for free on points and our hotel was on points as well! When we figured it would all be covered...why not go!! We are also looking forward to meeting a lot of new people and contacts. And, we will attend some great sessions!!!

Anyway, our documents are flying to Russia...very very exciting! I am looking forward to getting our travel dates and making another step towards having our girl home, forever... :-)

...Carala

Documents on there way...

2010-04-23T09:52:00.000-07:00

Well,

Our document should be on their way today! Pray for speedy but safe travels for them. Soon the ministry will be looking at them....then setting our travel dates. Pray that we will get dates sooner than we think. Not that this ever happens...but God can do anything. So, we wait, patiently.

A new Canadian friend of mine, who has spent time with our little girl....has just spent the last 2 1/2 weeks visiting their own daughter at the same orphanage and is on her way to Moscow today to finalize their adoption before returning home with their girl in 5 days!! I am sooo happy for them. Hopefully everything has gone smoothly! I hope to hear from them now that they are in Moscow where there is internet! We hope and pray they got at least 1 opportunity to spend time with our little girl. Or, at least seen her once. Who knows what they allow or don't allow. I pray that some how, some way they got to see her, so we can know she's doing ok. I hope we'll hear something this weekend...just maybe... :-)

And, I sooo miss my girl today. It's been 2 months since we received our referral...wow, in some ways it feels like it has gone fast! But, I also thought we would have travelled by now. :-( Good thing we don't know the future...cause it would have been hard to hear that it may take 4 months before we get to meet her! You never know though... We are also very thankful that we have a picture of our girl and that we'll get to meet her soon! We are soooo thankful to be in the position we are, don't get me wrong. We are being patient and also remembering where we were just over 2 months ago...wondering how our adoption could have gone so wrong. And now, we are living a dream, a complete miracle.

God is preparing our girl...for the day we get to meet her. I'm not sure what it will be like. Will she like us? I have a feeling though...she will LOVE the bear her brothers made for her! Something about that bear. Ryden hugged it as he went to sleep last night...it was so sweet to see. And the other night Trennon had the bear tucked between his knees. Their smell will be on that bear...and I hope when she meets her brothers she will recognize their smell and feel right at home with them both.

Oh my girl,

I am praying for you today. Knowing there is much change in your near future. I pray God will prepare your heart for this big change. I know you are craving love, the love all of us are dying to give you. So, we can't wait to share our hearts with you...love you like you've never been loved before. It's getting so close now...a few more short months...and the next chapter of your life will start. I am praying you through girl. I love you...more than these words say.

your mama

Dossier going to Russia!

2010-04-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

Well,

Good news...our dossier will be done at the Russian Consulate on Thursday and on Friday our Dossier will got to RUSSIA!!!! Wow! Hard to believe we are here! It should take about 5-7 days to get there. The next step is for the Ministry in our region to assign travel dates. But, there could be a slight delay because there is a few holidays back to back in early May. So, the ministry may shut down for a bit, we don't know for sure. So, you can pray we get assigned travel dates before they go on holidays. Once our dossier has been there a week or so, we should get our dates. So, we may not get our dates until the 2nd week in May.

All in all, this is all very exciting. We heard we may not travel until end of June. But, who knows with the state of affairs with Russian adoptions right now. I'd love to go alittle sooner...but we just have to trust that God's timing is perfect!

We are also hoping that our homestudy agency will be able to get their name removed from the Russian 'blacklist'. They are starting to work on that right now. Pray that this will not be an issue. We have to trust that God will work this out. It's hard when it's always, one more hurdle, one more issue, blah blah blah!!! So tired of it!

Well, that's i for now.

Carala

The end of a chapter....

2010-04-16T12:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked a big day for us. We officially closed the door on a 2 1/2 year relationship with our "old" agency that was facilitating our Russian Adoption. They were who we started with when we joined the Taiwan program in the fall of 2008. When the Taiwan program was pulled from this agency, we decided to join the Russia program they had going.

A lot of mixed feelings. But mostly, feelings of relief that we are moving on. We've been wanting to officially close the door for sometime. But, just didn't do it. We really wanted to be ready. I wanted the anger to be dissolved and I wanted to know for sure that we were 100% good with our decision, as it meant throwing a way a lot of money and time spent. It's hard to close that door. Doesn't matter that it wasn't a great situation. So much of our hopes and dreams were in that agency. We had developed relationships and trust that they would help us find our daughter. And when we realized our dreams were getting further and further away, it left us wondering what in the world are we supposed to do now. Find a new agency? Start all over? Kiss good-bye the last 2 1/2 years of our lives? This can't be happening!!!!

Thankfully God had a plan, a great plan! And, now we're with a great agency that presented us with a beautiful little girl less than 2 weeks after our first call to them. It was a miracle. :-) We are happy, and hoping to be travelling in June to see her. So much excitement after a very very long journey. :-) I thank God for giving us the faith to trust Him, to make the scary phone calls, to seek out new agencies, and to actively seek His will for our family, for our girl. One day I plan to tell our "story". It's a long one, I'll warn you now! I'm still writing it, as our story was intricately put together by God and has not been a snap to write. So many feelings and emotions. Every time I think about to the day I phoned our new agency scared out of my mind, I'm just in awe of God's power and greatness! He put this all together in a perfect package. Every detail layed out and every move in place. He gave us the courage to keep fighting for our family. To keep fighting for our daughter. No matter what it took.

And so, we continue to trust Him with the remaining details of our adoption process. At times it feels like the hurdles are never ending and the mountains seem too big to climb. But, God has given me this incredible peace. A peace in my heart that I know He is taking care of all the details. I don't have to worry about it!
Isn't God amazing! I truly believe he'll get us through this!

Anyway, today we close a chapter...but open another. A fresh start, leaving the past behind and looking forward to a beautiful future!

May God bless you for the support you've been to us and for praying us through.

With love,
Carala

Russia adoptions for US families are they Suspended or not???

2010-04-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

There is conflicting information out there this morning. First we hear adoptions are suspended for US families...the next thing we hear is that they are not. Which is it? Here's an article that I just read....

Another update about what we are doing these day!

2010-04-14T11:14:00.000-07:00

So, It's been a bit of a crazy week. Lots happening and hard to keep up with it all. And, on top of it I want to keep my blog up-to-date. So, here is goes in a nut shell....

We hear there is a back log at the ministry in our region...so looks like we may not travel on Trip #1 until late June. We will not know for sure until we get our travel invitation. We hope to get it sometime early May. I will definitely post when I hear. This is an ever changing program and you just have to go with it! (you're going to be so happy when this crazy ride is through...and so will we!!)

In the news you've heard all about this 7 year old boy from Russia that got sent back on an airplane cause his mama didn't want him. My heart breaks for him. And so we need to pray for the whole situation. So far, we as Canadians are not affected. You can continue to pray about that as well. We are not worried, we just need to trust God. We keep going about our business and will cross each bridge as they come.

We were faced with another obstacle this week. We don't know if it will affect us or not. Our homestudy agency was on Russia's "black list". What does this mean? It means, if Russia doesn't receive every post-placement report (PPR) that you do for 3 years after your adoption is complete...they will black list your homestudy agency until the agency gets the reports done for the family and send them to Russia. These PPRs are basically Russia's way of checking up on these adopted children. These reports are filled out by your social worker about how your child is doing following the adoption. We will have to do these for 3 years after our adoption is complete. Personally, I think it's a good idea. So, we will be doing them, of course!! :-)

We aren't sure why our agency was blacklisted. It would mean a family that did a homestudy through them, didn't complete all their PPRs. Interesting since our homestudy agency doesn't do many Russia homestudies. So, hopefully we can get to the bottom of this as soon as possible! :-) Could you please pray about this? It's just another hurdle we have to get over and it does get a little tiresome! :-)

I think that's it for the adoption stuff. Of course we are disapointed that we may not travel until the end of June. I had hoped for May. But, once again we trust that God has a great plan. So, we wait and see. No need to panic or be frustrated. God is in control. We truly trust Him and are thankful that we are where we are in this process! I'm still so amazed that I can look at a picture of this little darling girl every day!!! To have a picture of her is truly the most amazing thing! And so, we are thankful!

Another amazing thing! We are going to the Christian Alliance for Orphans 'Summit VI' in Minneapolis, MN on April 28th!!!! We are so excited to be able to go. God really moved some "financial" mountains so we both can attend! You should check out the website ...it is going to be an amazing conference where we'll be able to take some sessions such as "Understanding Childhood Development of Overseas Orphans", Adoptions and Orphans: Attachment and Trauma, Adoption and Orphans: Grief and Loss" As well as sessions on deveoping a church-based orphan, adoption or foster care ministry! We also very excited about these last sessions as we'd love to pursue something like this one day. It will be so amazing to be able to sit in on some classes where they will share their experience in this area and how sucessful churches have been!

God's heart is for the fatherless, for the Orphan. It say this in James 1:27 "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrup you."

We have a resonsibility to take care of God's children, where they are at. Be it orphans, widows, the abused, the sick, the poor. Are you helping?

Our church is fundraising and raising awareness in a Compassion in Action 2 campaign called Stop The Traffic! Stop the Traffic is about Trafficing of Humans in the modern day world. It's shocking to see it happening in our own city, not far from our every day lives. Have a look at the website!

We hope that this is only the beginning of what God is going to show us and where he's going to lead us in the next number of years. We just want to be open to hearing God's plan for our lives and we want to go where He needs us most! We both desire to impact our world and share God's love, and help those that can not defend or help themselves.

God bless you all, as you think about how you can impact your world around you. How you can help the fatherless, the homeless, the defenseless?

With love,
Carala

Update on our progress...

2010-04-10T18:27:00.000-07:00

I wanted to let you I updated my blog on what the next steps are in our adoption process. On the right hand side is: "Our adoption Process - the abbreviated version!" This is what I updated tonight. It gives estimated dates for the next steps in our adoption. If all goes well...and I mean...if a miracle happens! Then, we hope to be home mid August. But, it would take another miracle for this to happen...of course! :-) So many things take a lot longer than they state. Soooooo....please pray that we will indeed be home with our daughter mid August. We would ideally like a few weeks at home just the 5 of us before the boys head off to school. Terence is planning on taking 1 month off once we get home (so 2 months in total) so we will all get to just chill and get used to each other during that time. This is why we pray pray pray this will all happen! :-) And, if God has a different plan...then we will be fine with that. His plans usually ROCK...so, I won't complain if I don't get my way! :-)

So, there you go for all you curious ones. You know our "plan"! Since, if you know us...we always have a plan! LOL! We had a summer plan for camping...which was on a spread sheet all ready to go...and then our adoption happened. So, as much as we LOVED our plan...God's was much MUCH better! :-)

Have a good night everyone!

Carala

A sad story in Russian News... please pray.

2010-04-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

Please pray. This is top news in Russia right now. You begin to wonder how long until Russia won't allow international adoptions any longer. :-(

a warm heart...

2010-04-08T14:38:00.001-07:00

I just got off the phone with a family that just adopted from our region and the same orphanage. I just got this really happy feeling as we spoke about the orphanage, the caregivers, and how well behaved and happy their son is. It's like God is continually reminding me of his ultimate plan for us. That He is going to finally bring our girl into our lives, forever. And that she has been loved by those that care for her now. And, that all along He was taking care of her. I didn't have to worry about that. And when I hear that she's loved, my heart just wants to reach out and love her too. My love for her is growing, each day. I just want to put my arms around her and never let her go. I want her to know how much we all long to be with her. And that God picked her before she was even born, to be in our family. He has a special place in our hearts, for her. In his perfect timing, we will be a family.

Just recently I put her picture up on the fridge so we could all look at it throughout our day. Just yesterday at supper Trennon said, "I am beginning to love her mama." It's hard to get used to her brown eyes, since we all have blue. But I know I am beginning to love her." It just warmed my heart. Yes, it will be an adjustment for all of us to have a 5th member...but I know she will fit right in! I can't wait for the boys to meet her and find out for themselves that they will be able to love her. It's really hard, especially for 5 and 7 year olds, to love a picture. We don't expect them to love her now. It will come in time. But, it's great to hear that they think about her, and look at her picture...and begin to start the process of allowing her into their hearts. God is good. He is making a way for her to come into our hearts and our lives, in His way and His time. So much about this process has been about trust. Trust in our facilitators, our social workers, our governments, the foreign governments, etc etc. But also, it's been about trusting God with our family. We know we are doing what God wants us to do. We know that He has great plans for us. There's been a lot of learning though for us. We weren't always willing and open to trust God on everything. But, in the last year we've learned to just let God lead our adoption and let Him worry about the details. When we trust Him the most, I feel most at peace. It's pretty cool. Most people would think we're anxious about our travel dates. We're not. God has it in his control. He has a plan. As much as I'd like to go right away. He knows what's best for us and for her. We don't know what he's doing "behind the scenes". We look at the last few months and are in awe at what He's pulled off. I can do nothing, to make this adoption go faster. God really is the only one that controls our lives. So, we patiently wait for Him. And, I have peace. A peace that is so overwhelming really. It lets me enjoy the time I have with my boys. Cause soon our lives will change. For the good I know, but also will be different than it is now. So, we need to enjoy and not be anxious.

So, thank you everyone for praying. We are at peace. And we will continue to trust God with the plans he has laid out for us. I know we wouldn't be at this peaceful place if it wasn't for all our friends and family praying us through. So, thank you!

With love,

Carala

No dates yet...

2010-04-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you've been wondering if we have dates yet. No, not yet. Our dossier is back from Ottawa soon and by Thursday it should be going to Toronto to the Russian Consulate. Wahoooo! Another step complete! It will be at the consulate between 10-15 days we are told. So, hopefully by the 22nd it will be done there. Then, the dossier is off to Russia. We are suppose to get dates to travel as soon as it gets to the ministry in Bashkortostan. BUT, the problem is....Russia has holidays starting on the 1st, until the 9th. So, looks like we most likely won't travel until mid May. Which is fine. I'm really still in shock that any of this is even happening, so the fact that we're travelling to see our potential daughter is still just mind blowing! It just doesn't want to set in! I'm still in shock. Is this really happening?!

So many have asked if we're just soooo excited. I am, we both are....but at the same time I am in shock. It just doesn't seem real. I look at her picture....and melt...but, is this just a joke? Is she the girl I dreamed about for sooooo long? The one I prayed for? The one I cryed for? I am finding it hard to believe this is really all going to happen. I'm scared. We're both cautious. We need to protect our boys, until we know for sure if she's going to be ours or not. So, the first trip will be big. It is our big moment. Once we know that she's ours...we will be able to let more guards down. And, I will get to hold and love my girl for real. Not just a picture. I know that will help, a lot. And, I can't wait!

So, keep praying folks! It's been quite the ride. But, good things are to come...very very soon.

With much love,

Carala

Remembering...

2010-04-01T13:39:00.001-07:00

1 year ago today...my grandma passed away. She was just short of 90 years old. What an amazing lady she was. She had a great big smile and such love for all of us. I miss her and think of her quite a bit. But, we know she is in a wonderful place with her husband. So, we are happy! :-)

With this being Easter weekend, we have a lot to think about. Because of Jesus dying on the cross, we have life, eternal life with Him in heaven. What an amazing gift God gave us, when he sent His only son, Jesus, to earth to live and then to die for all our sins. So, this weekend, we need to be thankful, truly thankful for all Jesus did for us on that cross. I hope you will take some time and really think about what this means for you, in your life.

Have a blessed weekend everyone!

Carala

Build-A-Bear for Sister...

2010-03-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

We've been talking about making a "build-a-bear" for their sister for a very very long time. Well, today was the day we went out as a family to make not 1, but 2 for her. 1 we will take to give her on Trip #1, and 1 to keep at home just in case she loses her new bear, from her brothers. We are calling these little bears, Hope. And, I'm sure you can imagine why we are calling these bears, HOPE. We have all had a lot of hope, for 3 + years. And, we will be giving her "Hope", to hold onto until we can all can come and bring her home. We all have had a lot of HOPE because of Jesus. Because without Hope, I don't know that we would have kept going on this journey to our little girl, our sister. We don't know what this little girl will want to name her bear when we give it to her, it may not be Hope. But, until she chooses a name that she likes...we will call her HOPE because of the amazing gift Jesus gave us along this journey to our little girl and sister, so we wouldn't give up! :-)

This was one more step towards giving our heart to this little girl. I've dreamt about this moment of making a "build-a-bear" for so long...it was so amazing standing in line while the boys picked the bear, stuffed it with the help of a lady, and picked clothes for them. As you will notice in the picture, the boys each picked their favorite outfits. I thought they did pretty good (with a little of mama's help!). I wasn't too keen on a gold skirt, so we decided on a jean on instead! :-) What a special moment I will always remember. It was neat to share with a lady in line, that we were adopting and the boys were making these bears for their sister.(I think a lot of people were wondering why 2 boys were making PINK bears! LOL!) A day I will not forget....

I also included on my blog a new map at the top. Bashkortostan is the new region we are working in, and hope to bring our daughter home from one day soon.

I have to admit it was fun to buy something PINK. I'm not a pink girl at all...hardly anything in my closet has pink on it.(just ask anyone that knows me well). But, I think I'm going to do better with buying pink than I thought I would. :-) I'm sure my mom will be pleased to read this! :-)

Have a good night!

...Carala

Welcome!

2010-03-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I just wanted to say WELCOME to everyone that has joined my blog. Some of you new, and some have journeyed with us for all of the 3+ years we've been at this crazy adoption. So, welcome to everyone...hopefully the end in is sight. Nothing about the last 6 weeks feels real. I look at the pictures of this little sweet heart and think...is she really going to be ours? Could this really be happening? For 3 + years I've dreamed about our little girl, written her letters on my blog and pray for her day after day after day. Now, sitting before me is a picture of a little girl. And, it just doesn't seem real. Is this the little one I have prayed for, for years now? Could this really be her?

Most of you know she is 3. She turned 3 on February 9th. We started our journey to adoption in January 2007, weeks before she was born. God knew, all along...that we'd have to wait over 3 years to meet her. Cause, she was going through a time that we couldn't be with her. We had to wait for certain events to take place, that would bring her to an orphanage and then be available for adoption. And, she really was only available for adoption just recently. So, when you think about our journey, and how painful and hard it has been. So many hurdles, so many mountains....nothing compares to her life and the challenges she has had to endure. I'm glad we had to go through all we had to...because as a parent, as a mom, you want to share in the pain your child is going through. And although we will never understand or know the pain she went through in the 3 years of her life...I know that God was with her every step of the way. He was holding her, loving her, and keeping her safe. I know we missed 3 years of her life we will never get to experience, but I know God has placed her in our lives for a reason. We have a privilege of getting to love her the rest of her life! God has blessed us with getting to love her the rest of her life! What a gift that is. He chose us. He chose us to help mend her little heart and to love her with the love she deserves as God's child. I'm excited to see the end of this story unfolds. Yes, there are lots of unknowns. We are nervous, but as each day goes by, I'm a little less nervous cause I know God has this situation under control and I don't have to worry about his plan for our family. There will be a lot of challenges in our future, for us as parents, for her, and for our boys. Yes, every one's lives are about to change. But, with every new child in a family, yes, lives change. But, we know it's going to be amazing! We are soon going to be a family of 5! Our boys will have the little sister they've been dreaming about. Ryden will be a big brother, which he's sooo looking forward to! Our boys, have so much love to give. If you know them, you know they have both been given the biggest hearts by God. The love they show for others is incredible. It shows in their friendships, at school and how much they love God! I know God has a very special place in their hearts for a little sister. They are sooo ready to love her. They will be great, protective big brothers. And, I'm really excited for them to meet their new sister for the first time. What a moment that will be!

Anyway, I needed to write today about our little one. We have been so guarded with our hearts. It's been hard to really let go and just love her. Because of the way this adoption has gone so far, we've had to make life changing decisions in so little time. It's been hard on all of us. Lots to think about, even more to pray about, and just trusting God with our family. But, I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We're both trying to just let God lead our hearts, wherever that may take us. There could be heart break, but I'm willing to risk it all for this little girl. I want her to know and feel I am falling in love with her when I meet her for the first time. Even if things don't turn out, I want to risk my heart for her. So, the next 6 weeks we want give more and more of ourselves and let God deal with the rest. He knows our future, He knows what sacrifices we'll have to make in the future. He knows our hearts...and that, is to love our children, all our children with incredible amounts of love! So, it's a journey, that is not over! One day though, one day soon....our girl will be home and the next chapter of our lives will begin. Oh, what an amazing day that will be, to land on Canadian soil...knowing she'll be ours forever. This will have all been worth it! And all the praise will be given to God, for all the things he has done. For taking us through the lowest valleys and the highest mountains. For opening doors that we thought were forever shut. For giving for us friends that have prayed us through tough decisions and the scariest phone call that I made on February 11th to our new agency CHOC, that would in turn start a chain of events that brought us to the point we are at now. He has been amazing through it all. We couldn't have had the hope we've had without Him.

Well, one day I will write about the "chain of events" that happened to get us here, starting with that Februrary 11th phone call. But, I need to clean my house while the boys are at play dates and do a bunch of other stuff! :-)

Until next time! Thanks for joining with us for the best part of the story...the end....or should I say...just the beginning!

We love you guys! And thank you for being with us and praying for us. :-)

Know that I wrote this post with a lot of tears. It's just hard to believe that our dream is coming true and one little girl is right around the corner from the biggest hug she'll ever receive from anyone!

With Love,
Carala (for all my boys)

Paperchasing done...for now!

2010-03-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

Well, we had a hard week of paperchasing...but now it's over. I was so happy when we couriered our docs to our agency. Wahoooo! I did that on Thursday...and then Friday I went on my oldest field trip. Boy, was I tired...but it was fun!

Now, we wait for travel dates. We are most likely travelling with another couple, which would be fantastic! I am so looking forward to going! We are nervous, but I know that's normal! We are going to see our potential daughter!!!!! Crazy! I can not wait though! It does seem so unreal though. We've waited over 3 years for this, and in some ways I really can't believe that in about 4 weeks we'll get to hug and kiss this sweet little girl that could be ours soon. It's just crazy!!!! Most days I don't even believe it. We are guarded, really. It's hard after 3 years to just let your heart open up! But, when I look at the picture of her...I melt inside. She is so adorable. 3 years old. Gorgeous in every way. If she is the little person God had picked out for us, WOW! We hope to travel the end of April, but we'll see. Hopefully in a couple weeks we'll know our travel dates.

The region. We are now in Bashkortostan, Russia. It's is a 2 hour flight southeast of Moscow. Just norh of Kazakhstan. Everything sounds wonderful about this region! The orphanage is amazing. The kids are soooo loved there. I don't think we could ask for anything more! These last 40 days has been a dream really. So many things have fallen into place so perfectly that you can't deny God the glory for putting it all together. No human could have made all the pieces fit! So neat. And, such an amazing story I'll tell one day when I have time to write it all out.

Anyway, gotta go as I have snack to make and lunch to make as I'm in the Kindergarten room tomorrow helping out! It's Ryden's day! He's sooo excited. I can not wait as well. It's always fun.

I'll update again when I things start to really move....

Carala
**I'm probably going to privatize soon....

paperchasing

2010-03-16T17:10:00.000-07:00

So many of you know what it means to paperchase! Boy, has it ever been fun! (kidding!) I'll be so glad when it's over. What an exhausting day it was yesterday, but most of it is done. It is our goal to have it all ready to go by Friday at the latest. We'll send it off to our agency and then they in turn will send it off for legalization. Then, hopefully we'll hear what our travel dates are. We are looking forward to that!

Although we ran into some hurdles to jump, we made it through with your amazing prayers for our family. God is soooo good! Anyway, that's it for now. I'm pretty pooped!

Carala

How blessed we are to know you!

2010-03-13T21:21:00.000-08:00

After reading all the comments we've gotten from our last post I just needed to write! We are so overwhelmed with such amazing support from all of you! We know we are held together by the "glue" that binds us...and that is being adoptive parents/family/friends etc. But, also...there is another "glue"...and that is our heavenly Father! Without Him, none of this is possible! So, thank you for all your prayers. Finding out now how many have been praying for us...no wonder why miracle after miracle has been happening right before our very eyes! God is faithful! He will carry us to completion of this adoption..and His name will be glorified through it!

So thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! God is sooo good! I'm still in shock at the support we've had over the years. It's incredible really. But, I also realize how many we've supported because we know how hard it is to do it alone. So, know we are praying for all of you! Though I don't always get to write on your blogs...know you are on our hearts! No matter how hard this gets, know there is an amazing God that wants every orphan to have a home, be it by foster care or adoption! So, keep the faith! Have patience! And have Hope because of God's love for all of us!

Can not wait to get to the end of this amazing journey of adoption and start our life with our girl! One chapter will end, while another will start. So cool! I wonder if we'll do it again one day.... ;-)

love,
Carala

Referral accepted!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-11T18:48:00.000-08:00

Oh my....where do I start. The referral we declined...we just over turned and we accepted it!!! It's so unbelieveable. Only God can make such a thing happen!

We got more info, more photos and thankfully another Canadian family spent some time with this little sweet heart of a girl this past week! And based on their thoughts and time spent...we decided we definitely need to travel to meet her. That's the short story anyway! So, here we go folks! Russia bound baby! And, all of this was done with our NEW agency....all in exactly 1 month from the moment I first called this agency. UNBELIEVEABLE!!!! This NEVER happens. God is sooo good! We're still both in shock.

So, the paperchasing has begun....do we ever have things to do! But, I am sooooo happy to be doing them! We hope to travel in 6-8 weeks...but I have no idea. They can't tell us a timeline just yet. God has moved so many mountains...I'm curious to find out how many more he's in the process of moving! I just keep shaking my head. It feels like a dream. If this little girl is to be ours...wow! Is she EVER beautiful! I feel so blessed to have been chosen to be her mom! What a gift she will be to us....ALL OF US! WOW!

Anyway, it's a happy day in the Jellema house!

I'm thinking I will privatize my blog now. I'll give it a few days. If anyone knows us and wants to be a part of our blog please email me your email address. You can send it to cjellema@shaw.ca

And last, but not least....thank you! All of you! Your prayers have been what has kept us together these last 3 + years. I hope this is it. If it's not, I know we'll keep going as hard as ever. I would love this to be the end of this journey, and the start to a beatiful life with this sweet heart of a little girl.

To my daughter,

I love you! And mama is coming for you so soon! I can't wait to wrap my arms around you and feel you against my chest for the first time. It's what a mother dreams about! You are so beautiful, my daughter. Keep hoping and having faith cause we are right around the corner from you now! Only a few more weeks! We all can't wait to have you in lives forever. It's been a long time of having you only in our hearts.

Love,
your forever mama

an update on the Jellema Journey

2010-03-05T20:00:00.000-08:00

I've wanted to tell everyone about the last 3 weeks of our life for 3 weeks now...but couldn't, until now. This is why I have been so quiet for so long....

3 weeks and 2 days ago, we made a call to a new Russia agency to explore our options. During that call they eluded to a possible little girl that they didn't have a family for and that they could receive this proposal within the month. We left it at that, as this was such a crazy conversation. Who gets proposals where there's no matching family??? Strange. 1 week later I called them back to ask a few more questions. And during that conversation she told me they were receiving a proposal that week and would we be able to get our documents approved by the Alberta Government this week so we could review the proposal of this child. Of course I said I'd do what I could. This was the very first hopeful situation we've ever been in, in 3 + years!!! So, I got on the phone and somehow convinced everyone to do what they had to do to get our stuff approved that week.(which normally takes 3 months in our province) Within 3 days our homestudy was in our governments hands getting signed and that very afternoon our referral landed on our governments desk. The following day (Friday, Feb 26) we received a referral of a little girl. We were on cloud nine, it almost didn't feel real...yet we were cautious as we weren't sure about the health of this child. We couldn't get an appointment with our adoption specialist to review the file until Monday night this week...so we spend the weekend guarding our hearts. It was a hard weekend. I wanted to shout from the roof tops that I could have a daughter...FINALLY! ...but I couldn't let me heart competely go to her. And, in the end...we had to decline the proposal. For those of you who have gone through a decline of a child, you will understand how difficult it is. It's been only 5 days since we had to say no to a sweet little thing. I know we made the right decision for our family. But, it's still hard. I know we will never forget her. And, I hope a family will find her and love her, because we know every child deserves a family to love them.

So, what are we going to do now? Good question. We are still trying to figure that out. We are so thankful for the peace God has given us in this situation. It was the most intense 3 weeks I have even been through in my life. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. It was going too fast. But, I was thankful for the opportunity to have HOPE for once in this process!!! Hope feels so good. :-) And, we have hope for our future. We know God will bring us the little girl we've always hoped for. We know it just isn't time yet. As much as we wished this would have been the one...we know God has an awesome plan for our family. We trust Him with all that is within us. We know our girl will come home....one day...we just have to continue to be patient.

Please pray for us. Once again we have some decisions to make. This is the part I have the hardest time with. Making decision after decision...hoping it will bring us our girl. We don't know what God is doing. We know how many "mountains" He has moved during those few weeks. It was incredible really. So, I have no doubt He's working once again...to move more mountains! So, keep us in your prayers as I feel we need them more than ever. I don't want to get down about our situation. It would be very easy to...but I need to let God be in control of this one. We've done all we can do.

So, here goes the rollercoaster again...hopefully the ride is almost over! We can only hope.

...Carala

1 year

2010-03-03T20:59:00.001-08:00

1 year. It was interesting to see the "word of the day" is YEAR. What are you supposed to say at the 1 year mark? Hmmm. I don't have much to say. For today, I just want to hope that we won't be here at the 2 year mark still. That is my prayer. I pray for so much. And we have hope. We know God's plan is perfect. And we will wait for it. We will not give up. Having to jump a million hurdles is hard on a mom. You all know that. So many of you have walked in my shoes. I just want to share my heart with my daughter. To wrap my arms around her. And I know that will happen. I just have to keep being patient. And, we all know how tiring that gets after 3 years! As you can see, today wasn't my happiest day. I am allowed to have bad days. I do. But, I also have hopeful days and I do have a lot of them. :-) Today I just didn't feel up to celebrating the 1 year mark of having our stuff in Russia.

So, that's it!

...Carala

facelift not complete...

2010-03-02T13:11:00.000-08:00

I started on the "facelist" but it's not done yet. I brought everything back on line for now. :-)

Carala

under construction! Time for a facelift!

2010-02-28T08:10:00.000-08:00

Hey folks,

I'm taking my blog offline while I do some "construction" on my blog over the next couple days. Hopefully sometime Tuesday it will be up and running. Don't worry, I'll be back! :-)

I probably won't take it offline until tomorrow when I have time to work on it.

Please keep us in your prayers this week as we are making some big decisions regarding our adoption journey.

Thanks!

love,
Carala

A Story of Hope...

2010-02-16T10:20:00.001-08:00

Some days I sit down to write on my blog...and I just don't know what to write. So, then I don't. I'd love to write more...but I don't always want my blog to just be about the pain of this adoption. I want to focus on the hope that it brings. The love that we have for our daughter, for our family. For the hopes God has for us. I want our daughter to know this is all worth it. That the pain doesn't mean she's not worth going through all that for her. I want her to know that despite the mountains we've had to climb time and time again...we won't stop climbing them for her, for our family.

So, today...I'm writing a story of hope. A hope that is building because of Jesus. He has given us such hope...even in times when we feel like the road is long and the mountains are getting higher, not lower. I know that the ending to this story of hope and love will be incredible.

I long to hear the phone ring...and our social worker on the end of the line says...you have a daughter. I long to wrap my arms around my girl for the first time and know in my heart it was all worth it. I long to take the last trip home...knowing when we get to the airport with our girl, our family and friends will be there to greet us as a family of 5, not 4. For them to share in our joy...because we could never have made it without all of them standing with us through thick and thin. I long for us to go camping together, to hike a mountain, to share our Panorama vacation home with her. To live life knowing that we don't have to fight another day...because she is here to stay. So many hopes, so many dreams. I can not wait for that day.

Today we have hope! Hope that God is working miracles behind the scenes while we go about our day. That this very moment, He is making moves we can't even fathom. Moving mountains that only He can move. We have hope that no matter how many mountains stand in our way, no mountain can stand in His way!! He is a miracle worker! And I can't wait to see a miracle happen with our adoption!

So, that is what's on my heart today. I am enjoying being home with our boys cause they are on a school break this week. Sleeping in, drinking coffee, making biscuits for breakfast, and of course watching the olympics! GO CANADA!!!!! It's going to be a great week.

Tonight, we will work on our homestudy. Updating it because everything has expired. Terence was sick all weekend so we didn't end up working on it. Tonight is our night to get it DONE! Then it goes to our social worker, then to our government. It could take 2 months to get back to us. They are back logged. But, God knows. God has a plan. And, we can't hurry God...so we wait. :-)

thanks for caring, for praying, for standing by us.

Love,
Carala

back to the drawing board....

2010-02-10T09:24:00.000-08:00

Here's an update:

It's been a long week. After talking with our agency several times over the last week....we are now at a conclusion that we SHOULD open a 2nd region. The region we are in does not have any healthy girls in our age range...10 months to 3 years. So, they recommend we start on a 2nd region. So, we think we have no choice but to do this. Though, last week we had decided not to. We're just a little tired of this. Anyway, that is the update. The clock starts back at zero and off we go again. New region, Almost 12 months in Vlad...wasted. Unless a miracle happens and a girl comes available. It's disappointing and frustrating. It's the story of our lives. Just plain ol' tiring, exhausting, frustrating, and unbelieveably hard on our family. It seems never ending. And, the cost just keep going up and up and up. We're not made of money.

Maybe not the best day to update my blog. I'm tired. But, this is reality. Adoption isn't fluffy and happy...it's down right hard! So, there you have it! My girl is worth all this...you'd better believe it! We will get her home...I will fight everyone that is pushing back, I will do what it takes to bring her home.

Thanks everyone for praying! If you could pray specifically that if we are to adopt in our region (Vlad)...that a referral will come through in the next few months? It would take a miracle...but we know that is possible! We really think our girl is there. It's hard to move on when your heart is there. But, if she isn't....please pray our hearts will be able to move on. We probably will decide on a new region in the next month or so. Thank you for keeping us in your prayers. :-)

Love,
Carala

11 Months and counting...

2010-02-03T07:41:00.001-08:00

Well, 11 Months. Where to begin. There has been a lot running through my head over the last week. We were both a little overwhelmed with what we should do at this stage of the game. With a lot of prayer and talking with our agency...we decided against opening a 2nd region. We thought all a long we would want to do this. But, at this point, we are hopeful something good will come from Vlad. We may not hear anything for the next 4-5 months...or we may. It's all a gamble. But, we feel happy with our decision. The next step for us...waiting. And, we definitely know how to do that very well! :-)

Time and time again I have seen God work out his perfect plan in His perfect timing. Why would I doubt that now? He knows our hearts, He knows our struggle, He knows the longing in our heart for our little girl. Just because she is not here with us, does not mean He doesn't want her to be with us. I know when all is right and all is perfect...our darling little babe will come into our lives.

What I love about having a relationship with an amazing God is that I don't have to worry. He is taking care of everything...I just have to listen to his ever so quiet voice and be ready to respond to his leading in our lives. The more time I spend with Him, the more I feel at peace in my heart. It's when I'm not spending time with Him, that I don't hear him speaking to me. And, so...I almost went crazy on the weekend cause I didn't know what we should do. And, when I spent time praying and asking...it was then that I knew what our decision needed to be. A weight was lifted from my shoulders, and I really felt like I could breath again. I love that I have a God I can go to and know He will bring me this unexplainable peace in my life. So amazing. :-)

Anyway, there you have it in a nut shell. More waiting! Maybe not what you wanted to hear for us. But, keep praying! Just like all of you who have your kids home...you know it never goes as planned...but in the end it is perfect and well worth waiting for! :-)

Thanks for journeying with us! You are the best!

Love,
Carala

**ps. You may be wondering why I haven't privatized my blog yet. Well, I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that. So, for now, it will be left the way it is. Sorry to those that have written privately and I haven't gotten back to you...we've had a lot going on and I wasn't sure what to say. For now, we'll leave it as is.
thanks!

"You'll be in my heart"

2010-01-29T10:44:00.000-08:00

Dear my little sweet heart,

It's been awhile since I've written you. I want you to be able to read this love story about how much I loved you. That I would go to the ends of the earth for you. So, today I'm writing this letter to you, to say that you'll be in my heart always. I heard this song today, by Phil Collins. You should ask me to play it for you. It's a great song. Today, it's on my blog. It says, you will be in my heart always, and I'll always be there for you. As much as I can't be there for you right now...know that I'm doing all I can to get to you. Right now your daddy and I are having to make some decisions regarding your adoption. We have the option to open a new region. We don't know what to do. It's all so hard, and scary. We don't want to throw money away...yet you are so priceless...that really, who cares if we do! If opening a new region...will bring you to us. Than I'll do it. But, is this the right decision? Or, are you in Vlad? As you read this...you will know the end of the story. But, I want you to know that our love runs so deep for you. I don't want you to ever doubt that. My hearts aches for you each and everday. I want to take the shortest path to you...but some days it feels like we always take the long and hard path. I can't imagine what is going through your head...wondering why you are getting picked by a family. Why you have to wait so long. And, there's nothing you can do about it. I pray that each and every day...someone in your life can make you smile. That someone will take your little hand in theirs and hold it tight. That someone in your life will love you. All I can do, is pray for you...that God is taking great care of you. And, so...today I pray once more...that soon I will be the one that gets to take your little hand in mine. But, until that day girl...I love you. I miss you. And I promise we will come for you. We will not stop doing all we can to get to you. No matter how hard the decisions get, we will keep trusting that God will give us the wisdom to know what we need to do. That we will make the right decisions for you and our family.

One last thing. Your brothers can not wait for you to come home. Yes, I've said this before...but nothing has changed. :-) Know, that they have loved you for as long as we have! 3 years of falling in love with you. It's so incredible the love they have for you, a little girl they do not know. It's such a special love, so rare....that only God can give. You will be so loved and protected by them. Two great big brothers that will be there for you, always. :-)

I hope that the end is really in sight...that it won't be much longer before we get to see you for the first time. It's almost February...I had such hopes that maybe, just maybe we'd get a referral this coming month. Though, very optimistic...we had hope. With being given the option to open a new region...it probably means that Vlad isn't going to produce any referrals in the next while. If there was hope for Vlad, then why would they even present this to us?? You'd think this was good news, getting the option to open a new region. To double the odds of getting our girl home. But, it just means nothing positive is happening in Vlad. It's been a very slow year. Slowest year ever for this region, from what I've heard. But, maybe, just maybe...things will pick up. So, what do we do? Good question. We don't have long to decide what to do. Thankfully we will get to keep Vlad open if we pursue a 2nd region.

Friends, keep us in your prayers over the next week. That whatever we decide will be the best decision for our family.

Love,
Carala

going private...

2010-01-12T14:33:00.001-08:00

I wasn't ever sure I would ever go private. But, after over 2 years of writing on this blog and 3 years on this journey...I've decided it's time. As much as it's hard to exclude people from the rest of our journey...I know it's the best for our family. I hope you will understand. This has not been an easy decision.

So, by the end of the month we will go private. Please email me privately if you'd like to continue to journey with us, by January 31, 2010.

Thanks.
Carala

A 3 year journey to our girl and 10 months since our documents have been in Russia...

2010-01-03T18:46:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm sitting here next to my Christmas tree....no, we haven't taken it down yet. We were supposed to tonight...but that didn't happen! It is nice to have a laptop now (Christmas present!). I can sit wherever...and be wherever. Like when we go on a holiday...or Russia. We always said we wanted a laptop by the time we go to Russia. So, we got one...now we need a referral!

10 Months! Wow. We are getting closer! Yes, I'd like it to be tomorrow. So many times when Ryden has prayed he says, "and I pray our little sister comes tomorrow." I love it! I wish she could come tomorrow! Every day I pray for good news. And, this Christmas my good friend Stacey got good news! She already has been to Russia and back over Christmas! She has the cutest most adorable boy..and I pray that the next 3-4 months goes so fast for her. It will be a long wait. But, this is the final leg of a long journey for her. The very last leg! How exciting! So many of us have long journeys to our kids. It's hard...but in the end so worth it. Our daughter, is so worth it! When I saw the connection made with Stacey and her son on a video clip....it melted my heart. That made it real for me. So real I just balled. This is why we are doing this. For our kids! Sometimes this journey feels like it will never end. That we'll just keep doing this forever and ever and we'll never get our kids home. Then, you see a monther and son kissing and hugging and loving eachother....and you know in your heart that this is really going to happen! We will get our daughter home.

3 years. It's been 3 years since Terence said to me, "Maybe we should adopt." It was from that moment I knew that our 3rd child would not come from us...but from a little orphanage somewhere in this big world of ours. Long ago God planned for our family to grow in different ways. He planned for our little girl to be born to a mother who could not keep her for whatever reason...and that He would plan to give her a forever home in our family. I love how God plans stuff out for us...and then lead us along a journey to take us there! It's not always the easy route. Most times it's the hard route. And, he loves our little girl so much that he picked us...the jellemas, to love her, take care of her and make her our daughter. What a gift to be given! Being a mom has been the greatest job I could ever been given. I am so thankful for all of God's blessings in my life. My husband, my boys, my family, my friends, my church family. You all have been a blessing to me. Helping us through this journey. The things we've learned, the people we've met, the friendships we've made. All because God had a plan for our lives. A plan I could never dreamed up on my own. I could never in a million years make this adoption happen...but I know God can. And will. :-) I have hope and excitement in my heart that THIS is the year we bring our girl home.

So, what's next in our journey? A holiday! A little R&R is what we need. So, we are getting ready for that. :-) Then we'll see after that. I still have hope for a spring referral. Maybe another 4 months. I don't know. I seem to take it 1 month at a time. Bite sized pieces. Its manageable that way. I just keep trusting that God will continue to give me the peace I need to keep going day in and day out. Cause, there are days. I like to be first, I like to win races. And this one, I'm not first to the finish line. I feel like we're dead last. So many have started after us, but have finished before us. You feel like this will never end. So, this has definitely been a learning curve for all of us. But, I know in the end we will finish! And, that keeps me going. It's like doing the 8km run in Victoria that we did this fall...the last part of the course was a series of curves back and forth...when did it end? And, it finally did....and then I could see the finish!!! It was sweet! Hopefully soon we will see the final curve in our path...and this long journey to our girl will be over.

love,
Carala

to wait....

2009-12-23T19:53:00.000-08:00

So, I thought it was so fitting that the "word of the day" on my blog today is "to wait"! Ha....I think I'll remember the Russian word for the rest of my LIFE! Ya, I think I know what it's like to wait...just a little!

On a happy note...my friend is on her way to Russia today!!!!! I'm soooo happy that everything worked out for you...she got her visa etc and got on her plane. :-) She will see her little man on Christmas day! YA!!!!! Soo happy for her. What an amazing gift. A gift she will never forget!

On a sad note...another blogger friend lost their referral. Soo sad..so very sad. :-( It makes my heart sick for them. It happens so often these days...it makes me scared for us. But, I know we need to keep trusting that God is in control. :-)

Well, this is short...we just got back from a skiing holiday for 5 days and tomorrow we leave for my parents place...a nice 8 hour drive away! :-) It's chilly today, but we hear the roads will be fine.

Have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! Sorry I didn't get to send out personal greetings to all my "bloggy" friends....I was so sick for 2 weeks. One week I had the stomache flu and the next week I had STREP throat. Then we packed and headed skiing with Terence's family. Now, we're off to my family and then back for New Year's. It's crazy busy...but soooo fun!

Remember the reason we celebrate this season, the most amazing gift of all...Jesus. God's son, who came to this earth to give us life, eternal life forever with him. We are so thankful for God's love for us. Without him, we could never make it through this adoption process. I feel such peace this Christmas, because I know God is taking care of everything. We can't do anything. His timing is perfect, I keep reminding myself everyday. We may not understand it, but we just need to trust. :-) So, when I light a candle on Christmas Eve, I will remember Jesus....the most amazing gift I have ever received in my life. And, I will think of our daughter. The gift God has given us in our hearts. She's been in our hearts so long...it feels like we know her. I just can't wait to see her sweet little face. And to tell her how much I have longed for her to not just be in our hearts, but in our arms. :-)

Thank you all for being a part of our journey to our daughter. As much as this year hasn't been what we thought it would be. I know we are so much closer to getting a referral than we've ever been. So, it's that hope that I hold on to. Just keep praying for her, and for us.

Thank you!

Love,
Carala

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-16T11:50:00.000-08:00

I thought I should do 1 last post before we head off for Christmas holidays. Nothing new. Same old, same old. I hope our holidays will be a good distraction from thinking about our adoption. We are going skiing for 5 days, then 5 day with my family, then we come home for a week...then hopefully we'll be off to a nice beach somewhere. Yes, we decided that we need a break. Terence has worked his butt off this year and so we decided to head south and catch some rays. Since no adoption plans...we're using that week to head to a beach. :-) I'm very happy to be going south...though I'd rather be going to Russia. :-( One day....

Christmas planning has been a struggle this year. I had a nasty stomach flu last week...and this week I have Strep Throat! Nice. So, I have lots to do in the next few days....yikes! Oh well...if it doesn't get done, what can you do? I'm exhausted these days. No energy to make lasagnas or cookies. All I can think about is hanging out and not having to get up at 6:45 everyday! And of course I can't stop thinking about a very warm beach...ahhhhhh. It's been nasty cold. But, the temperature is much better today.

I feel like this post is all over the place...it's my brain. Lack of sleep and no energy to be creative today. Sorry. :-(

I am looking forward to Christmas at my parents! So much fun, lots of eating and playing games. Hopefully we'll be able to take the boys skating. The boys are looking forward to spending time with their cousins too! It will be a much needed break from being stuck at home so much these last few weeks.

I want to wish all of you a Very Merry Christmas! I have great hopes for 2010! As much as I thought 2009 was going to be our year...it wasn't meant to be. God had other plans...and I trust 2010 will be one great year!

We finally got a laptop! So, when we figure it out I'm sure I'll do a post around Christmas with pics...if I'm not too busy sleeping and eating! :-)

Love,
Carala

9 months and counting!

2009-12-04T11:54:00.001-08:00

Nine months. 9 months! How are we doing? hmmmm...good question. As long as I'm reading my bible EVERY day...I'm great. When I don't...I'm not. I really have been drawing from God's strength these days. Our church gave us a challenge, that I decided to take up. We have been challenged to read throught the New Testament by the end of December! Yes, that's a big task...but it's been incredible! And, I've been reading the most encouraging stuff! Paul has been encouraging me through his strength while he was in prison. The attitude is what impressed me most. He was happy, even in his sufferings. In Ephesians 4 :13 is says "So please don't despair because of what they are doing to me here. It is for you that I am suffering, so you should feel honored and encouraged." He's not sulking and sad...he's writing letters to the church of Ephesis (in this case) and encouraging them despite his suffereings in prison! So, how does this apply to my life? Well, I could sit here and sulk and be sad, mad or even angry. OR, I could focus my time on what I could do for others? Especially at this time of year when so many could use our help. We've chosen to help a family this christmas, a single father is in need of food and gifts for his teenage girls. It doesn't take much. As much as I'd love to have our girl home, God calls us to love and care for those around us even while we go through our own "sufferings". So, while I'm doing what God wants me to do here...He's taking care of our little girl over there. So many times we stop caring for others and focus on our own problems. We lose focus on what's really important. I can't change our situation with our adoption process. I have absolutely no control here. So, what I can control is helping someone who needs the bare essencials in life. I can turn 1 families Christmas into a very happy one with hardly any effort at all...and can you imagine how excited those girls are going to be when they open their presents?!!

I hope this Christmas you too will step out and help someone in need. It's not hard. And, there's so much joy in giving!! Isn't that what Christmas is really about? Jesus was born on this earth, to one day die for us...and give us the most amazing gift of all....a life with him in Heaven and a best friend that loves us unconditionally while we are here on earth. In Ephesians 1:5 it says "His unchanging plan has always been to ADOPT us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure." The greatest adoption story ever told is this one. That God's desire is to adopt each one of us into his family. He sent his son to die for us, to forgive us our sins, so we could have the greatest opportunity to become apart of God's family if we so choose. :-) So cool! God loved me so much, that he was willing to let his son die on the cross. Talk about suffering! Some days I feel I've suffered enough with this adoption. But, I think of all the things I've learned through these last 3 years and I don't think I'd change a thing. The lessons God has taught me have been life changing really. I am different because of this journey that we've been on. And, I am thankful for all God has taught me. :-)

So, as much as I long for my daughter...I just keep trusting that my heavenly Father has her all taken care of. His love is deeper, greater and stronger than mine will ever be. As much as I would love to be the one holding her...I know God is doing an amazing job taking care of her.

Thank you all for your prayers. We need them to help us get through this with a positive outlook. Some days can be tougher than others. But, we have such hope for the future! God is good. And, because of all of you praying I can hold my head up! :-)

Carala

**if you are wondering...there has been no update for us this month. We probably won't hear about anything more until February as Russian Christmas is in January. And, I figure the news will be the same...unless God has a cool little plan brewing in the background that we have no idea about. Keep praying! :-)

1058

2009-11-24T08:47:00.000-08:00

1058 days since we began this journey to our daughter... I don't even know what to say to that. It's a lot of days.

To my girl,
I never thought I could love you so much...and I don't even know the color of your hair. Most days I dream you have jet black hair....and other days I see blond. I think of being able to comb your hair and put braids in it. Though it makes me nervous cause I haven't done braids in so many years. Would I even know how? I so look forward to it though. :-) I think of taking you shopping and going on playdates with you're new friends. I look forward to seeing you play with your brothers. To see the smile on your face when we pick them up from school each day, cause I know how much you'll miss them. I look forward to seeing you run into your dada's arms every night after work. And how we'll be able to go for lunch with him every week...like I've done with the boys so many times. I look forward to baking with you, like I'm going to do with Ryden this morning. And I look forward to taking you camping, and hiking. And, it will be a pretty sweet day when I'll have 4 fans in the stands at one of my soccer games...not just 3! A family complete! So, the count down is on my baby girl. Even though we don't know how many days are left...I know that the day is coming where I won't have to count anymore. And that will be the best day EVER! Love you forever and always. Your mama.

another rollercoaster of a day...

2009-11-20T12:56:00.000-08:00

Boy, this has been one of those days....up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down....you get the picture! LOL! We had a late night, discussing adoption. As much as I'm tired of talking about it...it's all I can do. It's all we can do. So, I go from wanting to talk about it...to the last thing I want to talk about...all in about a minute. It's really a rollercoaster!

Someone the other day asked me if I think about my daughter every day. HA! Do I think about her? I eat, sleep and dream HER! As much as I'd love to not think about another adoption thing ever again...I CAN'T and DON'T want to stop thinking about her. She is my daughter!! Would I stop believing in God cause I can't see him? NO!!!! I will not stop thinking of her...cause I KNOW I will have her in my arms one day. Just as I will be able to spend my days in the presence of my heavenly Father one day too! (Hopefully not too soon though!! LOL!)

I'm a fighter by nature. I don't give up, ever. From the age of 15-20 I fought a horrible illness that left me days on end in bed, with a lot of pain, exhaustion, and other not so fun things. Did I give up? NO! Did I give up on God cause my life sucked? Did God give up on me when I yelled at him and questioned every thing I ever believed about Him? NO! God brought me through a very difficult 5 years of my life. Yes, I got mad...but I was determined to allow God to take me through that time and trust Him with my life. I had no idea if I would ever get married, have kids, have a life again. I dreamed of being a mom, marrying a man that loved God as much as I did, but really there was no hope at the time that that would ever happen. Now, 14 years later...I have the man of my dreams, the most incredible boys, and a little girl on the other side of the world praying her mama won't stop fighting for her. Do I believe that God will bring our daughter home, Yes, in His timing! No, I won't stop fighting for this adoption. Even when days like this I get really tired of it. Days like this I want to throw in the towel...though I never would. It's days like this, that I lay everything at God's feet. And tell him I trust Him with our daughter life and our adoption plan...cause there is no one else that is bigger, greater and more loving than He. He gave me my life back 14 years ago. No doctor could have stopped the pain or the fatigue. I realize who really is in control of this adoption. And, I can do nothing. I KNOW without a doubt the day we meet our daughter will be a day when I will see that every day of this adoption will have been worth it. We are approaching 3 years of paper chasing and a lot of waiting. 3 years, 4 countries. It's like an eternal pregnancy that will never end. God made pregnancy 9 months for a reason. But, I know in my heart, that I will do another year of this if we have to. I will keep dreaming about her, I will keep fighting for her, I will keep loving her...until she is in our arms. I can tell you that I wouldn't survive this long, moutainous, strenuous climb to our girl if it wasn't for my relationship with Jesus. I need Him to help me through. I want to smile as I go along this journey to her. I want to enjoy the amazing life God has mapped out for us. I want to love the plan God has for my life, be it waiting for 3 + years for our girl. And, when things get tough, I'm thankful for a loving, caring, and sympathetic God that I know will wrap his arms around me and carry me to the end. We would never have met so many of you, if we didn't take this journey. And most importantly I have a rock solid relationhip with Jesus because of this amazing journey.

So, it's on these rollercoaster days that I am reminded what an amazing life I have been blessed with! With so many surrounding us, supporting us and praying us through. And, to be thankful every day for the small things.

sorry for the long winded post....I can hardly ever write something from the heart that only takes a few lines. :-)

Thanks guys! We love you all so much.

Carala

a saddened heart...

2009-11-11T21:14:00.000-08:00

So, this is an update to my "cool little story" the other day. My good friend, had to decline the referral. My heart is saddened. Deeply saddened. I can't imagine going through what my friend is going through today. I woke up this morning, praying for her...and I know when I put my head down on my pillow...I will still be praying for her. And, for so many others out there that have gone through, and are going through the very same thing. My heart goes out to you.

..Carala

We remember...

2009-11-11T10:32:00.000-08:00

In Flanders Fields
by John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields

A cool little story...

2009-11-10T13:35:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine has been on a long journey to adopt a little boy from Russia. I met her through an adoption forum a year ago, we are with the same agency, and she lives in Calgary so we have gotten to be good friends. It's been 13 Months since her documents have been in Russia....too long for someone waiting for a boy 2 1/2 - 4 years old!!! Way longer than they ever expected this to take. So, about a month ago....I was praying for S. and was just asking God when is this going to happen? When is S. going to get her call about her little boy? S. has gone through a lot in life, losing her husband in a roll over car accident 11 years ago, 1 year after they got married. This is someone I admire, for her courage, strength and her amazing love for son. Anyway, so a month ago I was praying for her, like I often do....and God threw the date NOVEMBER 9th into my head. So, I wrote it down and told S. ..."you're going to get your call about your son on November 9th!" We laughed about it, but it was so strange that this date was firm in my head. 5 days ago I was emailing with S. and said....only 4 day girl!!!!!

Well, yesterday I had been home 20 minutes, when the phone rings and its S. ...she got her REFERRAL!!!!!! A little boy, not even 2 yet!!!! He's sweet, adorable and healthy! November 9....amazing! God is truly incredible. I love how He shows us Himself, how real He really is. I asked God the other day, to show me something. Something to do with our journey that would get me through to the end of this adoption. Something real, that I would know it was from Him without a shadow of a doubt. Well, this couldn’t have been more real.

I’m still in shock really…yet I shouldn’t be. So many times during this journey I've doubted. It's so human to doubt, when things are not going your way. But, God is faithful...and doesn't give up on us. I love these verses from the bible. From Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to posper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
And this one from Isaiah 40:28-31 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

When I hope in God, I feel I can run a marathon! I love when God reminds me that He is my friend, my best friend. And what does your best friend want? They want the best for you, and would do anything for you! This story was a huge reminder, that God desires for our kids to be with us. He desires for S. to be a family with her son, He desires for our girl to be in our arms forever. Sometimes, His timing is different than ours. We are in such a "want this now and don't want to wait" society. You don't need patience in our society. Everything is at our finger tips. This journey has taught me to be thankful with whatever I've been blessed with, no matter how small or how big...and to be patient for the plan God has for me....cause it will be sooo amazing and defnitely worth waiting years and years for! No, I don't understand why the wait. But, I only want what God wants for our family. I want the daughter that God has planned for us!

We are excited to be on the "home stretch" in our journey. Though we still have many months to go...I am thankful it won't be years anymore(remember, being thankful for the little things!)! I know, we would have never met S. if we would have adopted from China, Taiwan or Ecuador! We value our friendships in life. They are what is important. For our daughter to have a playmate from her own country is worth so much. And, a friend for us to go through this difficult process...means more than you could even imagine. Especially to have someone that lives mear minutes away. S. and I also share a love for soccer...she could probably kick my butt...but I'm ok with that! :-) We are looking foward to having our kids home....most of all.

Well, there you have it! A cool little story...I'll never forget. :-)

Carala

BLOG UNDER CONSTRUCTION... :-)

2009-11-06T11:31:00.000-08:00

8 months!

2009-10-27T07:43:00.000-07:00

Wow! 8 Months already! Another month closer to our girl. I'm sooo happy this first year of waiting is 3/4 done. My feeling is that it will take over a year for sure to get a referral. My feelings waiver though. Some days I think it's going to happen in the early New Year(Feb '10) and then I hear about slow downs in our region and then I want to protect my heart and think...maybe not until summer or fall. I'd love to have her home by summer. That would be perfect! But, when does anything ever go perfect in this world. NEVER. So, we keep praying and asking and trusting God. We know we're getting so close now! :-)

The most recent news is that our region is slowing down at the moment. What does that mean? Good question. I don't know the answer though. Their explanation is that more Russians are adopting in our region...but I don't know. There could be a million reasons. Our region has been the most consistant in Russia with referrals. I just pray that this won't affect our timeline. That we won't be sitting here this time next year...wondering where our girl is.

So, Christmas has started. The other day we put on Christmas music! The boys were so excited...November 1st! They are already asking when the tree is going up. Thanksfully not until the first weekend in December. It's our tradition. It would be fun to start a Russia tradition...I'd guess I'd better start doing some research on that....I'm sure I could bake something Russian. Any ideas anyone? I know we'll celebrate Russian Christmas as well in January. Lots to think about!

Well, I have to get organizing the boys toys. We are making the loft, where the boys have their toys upstairs, Trennon's room! This is all in preparation for their sister coming home. She will have the room Trennon is in right now. When his room is ready, then we will paint and decorate her's! So exciting! That also means the toys have got to go somewhere and I need to figure that out today. Plus, it's time to chuck toys, or at least give them away. Today is a good day to do it because both boys are at school and they won't sit here whining about all the toys I'm giving away!!! I've been wanting to do this for awhile...they are growing out of their toys and now don't play with a ton of stuff. It's a lot of lego and cars. And Trennon really is into reading books. So, I'm thinking he will need a book shelf in his room for all his books! So fun!

Have a great day everyone! And be thankful for all you've been blessed with. No matter where you are in the process of adopting, be thankful! God has a plan, a beautiful plan, and keep trusting that you are where he wants you to be. We are approaching 3 years in this adoption process...believe me I've had my impatient days! But, I KNOW that God has us where we're at for a reason...and I just keep trusting that our girl will come to us when He says it's the time. I keep praising God in the "storms" of this adoption and I know He is never going to give up on this adoption. God will help helping us through it to the end. So, chin up guys! God is good! :-)

love,
Carala

Pictures...

2009-10-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

Nothing new....so I just thought I'd post some pics. This was from our last camping trip of the season. It was a beautiful weekend at Mt. Kidd! We are praying that the next time we pull out our trailer....our girl will be with us! Darling daughter...your bed in the trailer is ready for you, we can't wait to share our love for camping and the great outdoors with you!!!

Ryden...always a smile, always there to make you laugh, always my little boy.

me and my sweet, adorable, lovable, hugable....boys!

My last big run before the race...

Terence...my rock, the love of my life, and the best father in the world!

Trennon...the boy with endless hugs, kisses and has a heart of gold.

Our weekend in Victoria

2009-10-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been over a week since we've been back from our RUN FOR CHOICES weekend! Time has just flown! We had a great time in Victoria. We got up at 5am on Sunday morning and was the start line in plenty of time...probably too early. I was frozen by then! It was about 2 degrees out and my little body was numb! A long sleeved shirt and crop pants just didn't cut it for that kind of weather. Plus, it's a damp cold out there right along the ocean...so you can imagine how cold it would have felt! The race started at 7:15am! Yes, kind of early if you'd ask me. Everyone said I'd warm up...but I never did! The cup of water spilling over my hands at kilometer #3 didn't exactly help! LOL! But, the race went so well. I ran faster than I've ever ran before...I ran 8km in 42 minutes! Terence ran it in 48 minutes, which was impressive!! The course ran along the ocean..which was amazing! I got teary eyed the moment I saw the ocean...cause I knew on the other side was my girl...sitting in an orphanage. Nothing between us, just water. (For those of you who don't know, Victoria is on the Western coast of Canada and Vladivostok is on the eastern Coast of Russia.) I could just feel her in my heart, cheering me on. I was so thankful when I saw the finish line and all those people! :-) There were 2500 people running the 8km race...and I placed 435 over all, I was the 183rd women to cross the finish line and 16th in my age group with over 150 women. I couldn't have hoped for better! Not bad for someone who started training on September 1st! LOL!

The highlight of the weekend was deifnitely meeting CHOICES Adoption, our agency. We've been with them for over 2 years now. It was so wonderful to put names to faces. We saw them several times over the coarse of the weekend. It really brought the reality of this adoption to life! It's already October(mid!) and Spring isn't that many months away. We hope to get a referal by then. I'm even hoping for February! Who knows though, anything can happen. It's nice to know that Vlad is going well and that referals continue to come in for families. Soon, it will be our turn! And what an incredible day that will be!

This fall has been pretty good...other than it's getting colder and colder outside! LOL! I'm nursing a back injury from shovelling heavy snow last week. It's all gone now...but I see piles of dirt in our yard...meaning the mice are digging their tunnels so it's time to do some trapping before they hide away for the winter! It never ends! But, I'm glad I will be kept busy now til Christmas. When January hits we'll be in the home stretch! God has been sooo good to us. We're excited where we are at and hopeful for the future. This adoption IS going to happen! My girl IS coming home! It's sooo good to be in the home stretch. For so long I wondered when we'd ever get here. Now, we are and it feels good. :-)

Thank you all for praying, for following along on our journey. Thank you all who sponsored our Run for Choices Adoption, it is so appreciated!! :-)

Have a wonderful day!

Love,
Carala

time to RUN!

2009-10-05T15:47:00.000-07:00

I always feel the urge to RUN, when another adoptive family gets a referral. Run meaning, run a 8km race, or run in a soccer game. Not, run away! LOL! This is a new thing for me. I've been preparing for our 8km run for Choices Adoption this Sunday, so it's now becoming my "outlet" for when I start to miss my daughter. It just so happens that whenever another one of my blogger friends or another one of my adoptive families that I know gets a referral....I choke up! Half due to such happiness that another little one has a mama and a dada and half due to the fact that I am reminded again that my daughter still doesn't know who I am and that she's STILL all alone. So, I cry for a minute...then I tell myself. Buck up, and go for a run. So, thankfully tonight I have my first indoor soccer game of the season that I can run til I'm too tired to cry. I miss my daughter, more than I can say with words. And, it seems that every week, a family gets a referral from somewhere...just not us. So, I keep running (hopefully in the right direction!)...like all the time! So today I'm so thankful another little man is going to meet his family in a few weeks! And, there will be a new mama and a new dada in the world...and that is a sweet sweet thing!

So, if you're saying your prayers tonight, tomorrow, or whenever. Could you pray that God would be close to our daughter so she doesn't feel alone. Cause if I was her, I'm feel alone without a mama or a dada. :-(

Thanks.

Carala

7 Months and counting....

2009-10-02T20:50:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 7 months since our documents got to Russia. I'd love to know where they are. Are they on a shelf collecting dust? Are they on the top of a pile...or the bottom? :-( Has anyone even looked at our file? Do they know how much we are longing for our girl to come home? Do they realize how long we've been waiting? I pray that they've at least opened our file and are searching for the best girl for our family.

We prayed tonight for our girl. Like we do every night. But tonight we prayed that she would not feel lonely. That God will fill her with His love. She MUST long to be loved and held? Or does she have so many walls up she doesn't "feel" anymore? Oh how this hurts a mama's heart to think and feel all these things. I just need to keep trusting that God's plan is perfect. That his plan for her homecoming and her arrival into our lives is perfect. Absolutely perfect!

I didn't know how I'd feel 7 months into this. I personally feel that we are half way there. Well, hopefully over half way there! I think I can do another 7 months! At least it hasn't killed me! :-) It feels like just yesterday it was 6 months...so thankfully God has given me the ability to believe time is cruising by! He has given me hope really! Hope that it is going to happen...soon. So, I keep trusting, keep hoping, keep telling myself His plan is perfect!

It's only 9 days til our big RUN! I made it through another 8km run today! I didn't feel like going...but I was sure glad I did! It feels so good. And, it's time for me to dream about my daughter. :-) Not that I don't do enough of that anyway...but it's time for me to pray for her, and spend time dreaming of the day we get to hold her! What else would I think about during a 45 minute run?! I find it quite boring otherwise! Just not my first love...but I love that I'm doing it for a great reason...for our agency who is making our dreams come true...and for our girl! Hopefully we raise a lot of money for our agency! It's not easy these days for agencies.

Well! That's it for my 7 month update! Not much new I'm sad to report. Hopefully one of these months I'll have some exciting news to share! :-)

Until then...

Carala

1000 Days since this all began....

2009-09-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 1000 days since we first started dreaming of our little girl. In a lot of ways it's gone fast when you've think of 1000 days! But in reality...I never would have dreamed would we still be going at this in September of 2009! I remember telling Trennon at several points during this process that for SURE she'll be home in 2009....but so many things keep changing. It's International adoption. It's not predictable, it's not easy. But, we know in our hearts that this is the path God wanted us to take. When you know that...you know you'll make it through. You know it's worth it...whatever the path is. We have met so many people because of this long drawn out journey. We wouldn't have...if this adoption would have gone smoothly and quickly. I am thankful for meeting all of you! I'm thankful for all we've learned through this process. My kids have taught me sooo much. They've taught me patience, to have faith, trust and hope in the one great Saviour of all, Jesus Christ. They have made me smile when I've wanted to cry. They've brought me tissues when the tears don't want to stop. They've rubbed my back, held my hand and hugged me so tight! And I know they will continue to help me through as we have even tougher days ahead I know. We do know we are getting closer though. The spring of 2010 may bring some good news our way. Hopefully we'll get a referral around that time. Then add about 6 months to that before we get her home. So hopefully by the end of summer next year this whole process we'll be over and our life as a family of 5 will begin! How exciting that will be!

So, that's all for today! Today we are trying to celebrate 1000 days. Unfortunately we have a sick boy...so we're lying low...but we hope next weekend we can head to the mountains and do some celebrating there!

With much love,
Carala

PS To our daughter, we love you! You are so worth the wait....I would wait forever for you. We do hope that God is going to bring you home soon though. We just all miss you and want to share our lives with you, now. But, we'll hold out for the great big day that God reveals you to us! It's going to be awesome girl! I know He is taking great care of you, there is no one better. He is preparing your heart for all of us I know. We love you. love, your mama :-)

Run for CHOICES Adoption!

2009-09-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

The weather has been absolutely incredible this month! We don't usually get temperatures in the mid to high 20's at this time of the year so it's been a treat. Needless to say our weekends have consisted of spending a lot of time outdoors...especially in the mountains. When you have some of the most amazing landscape just an hour or two from your house it's hard not to go enjoy it! We spent 12 hours on Saturday enjoying God's amazing creation. First we did a hike up to a lookout that gave you a bird's eye view of the beautiful and famous Lake Louise and the Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise Hotel.(pictured just above this post!) Then we headed to Johnson Lake by Banff, Alberta to enjoy a barbeque and swim. The day couldn't have been more perfect. To get 25 degrees in banff and very few (if any) clouds...it was incredible! We also did another like hike around Johnson Lake to find a Geocache! The boys always love this. I didn't think it was going to be that far a hike so I decided to wear flip flops! NOT....a good idea. :-( We were trying to find the cache on the side of this steep hill....and was not being very sucessful. After having looked and looked and looked around this area I decided to extend my search....10 meters from where the GPS said the cache should have been hid....was the cache! I'm glad we found it...cause I hate walking away without finding the cache. I'm pretty persistent! This is why I haven't totally gone over the deep end with this adoption! LOL! I just don't give up that easily...and it definitely stems to all parts of my life. So, that was Saturday!

Sunday was another gorgous day. The boys hoped on their bikes and I got out my running shoes and we went to another very beautiful forested area near our house. Now, if you know me....I'm not a runner! I love playing soccer...but to run without of ball is pretty much pointless in my mind! Well, a few months back our adoption agency sent out a letter saying they're going to be a charity for the Royal Victoria Marathon in October in Victoria, BC(their home town). That's cool! But, how would that involve us? Well, you can also choose to run a 1/2 Marathon or an 8km road race. So, Terence and I have been training like mad for the 8km road race! Can you believe it? I can't. Terence isn't a runner at all. But, he's been training 2-3 times a week on a treadmill and I've been running in our neighbourhood. It's amazing what you can do when you set a goal! Yesterday I ran 7.5 km! Amazing! And, I actually was enjoying myself. Everytime I run, I think about my girl. At one point yesterday I got tears in my eyes. The more I thought about her, the harder I ran. I would do anything for her...and that includes running! And, I am doing this, so others can share in the joy of adoption!! Whatever we raise, will go to our agency to help them, help others adopt. What better cause is there?!! The money will also help an orphanage in Nepal! Which is very exciting cause we've been there...and love the Nepalize people! The Run for Choices Adoption has given me HOPE! It's exciting! And, I like that we're helping others!! Nothing we raise will go to our adoption. The joy you get from helping others is incredible and it inspires you to do more!

Our boys are also getting involved in this! Yes, they are doing a 1.2km Kids Run! It's so neat that they too can do something to help raise money for CHOICES. They are excited to do the run. So, on Sunday, October 11th we will running the race! The other wonderful thing about this, is that we get to meet our social worker and others that work at CHOICES! In 2 years of working with them, it will be nice to put a face to the names.

So, that is what's been up in our world. Nothing new on the adoption front. We've been waiting to hear who will get referrals in Vladivostok from our agency. Wishing it was us...but knowing we're still a good 6-8 months away. Hopefully we will hear soon...they did say September was the month some referrals would come.

The boys are doing great...loving school! This is a big week..as all their activities start...Beavers, soccer, Gymnastics etc. It will be a crazy busy week of driving for me but I love it! I know having a fun fall will make time fly and soon we'll be counting down the days til our sweet little darling girl will be coming home! Oh how sweet it will be. :-) She has 2 amazing brothers that can't WAIT to see her. Trennon is overly excited these days about having his sister home. When they talk about her like she's already here...my heart gets so warm...and it almost starts to hurt cause I wish I make all their dreams come true, and bring her home tomorrow. It's hard for a mama to not be able to make the hurt go away. It's hard to teach your kids what patience is. Yet every night lately Trennon's been praying for patience. Amazing! A 7 year old...praying for patience?! I'm truly amazed! I have learned so much from my boys during our adoption journey. Without this long, drawn out process...I wouldn't have learned anything through it. So, though the days can be hard...I am SO thankful for the last 2 1/2 years. I know I will be a better mom to my kids for it! They have taught me that no matter what comes our way, we will be able to get through it, together! So, though I do wish things would hurry up, I'm trying to just enjoy the time that God has given me today, to just enjoy his beauty, His creation, his mercy, His grace, and His undying love for me. Every day that I wake my boys...and they're healthy..is a day to celebrate! Everyday that we have food to eat and a warm house to sleep in, is a day to be happy with all we've been blessed with. To never take for granted this free country we live in! To have a country we can freely worship God in. When I think of all these things....I can only be happy. :-) So today...I hope you too can be thankful for all the things you've been blessed with. Today is a day to be happy!

Love,
Carala

6 month milestone

2009-09-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it to 6 months! I just hope I can do another 6 months. We could potentially get a referral by then...maybe. So, with that in mind...I think we can do it! Just knowing the end is in sight...makes this journey so much more do-able. I've had some rough days in the last few months. But, I keep reminding myself how worth it this is! Our girl is at the end of this journey! She needs us as much as we need her. She is worth waiting for!

August 31st was the boys first day of school! They were sooo excited. I'm posting a few pics from their first day. I didn't cry...I ran instead. After my run I was too exhausted to cry! I even sat on a patio and had coffee with a good friend of mine...that was so enjoyable!! There has to be perks with having your boys in school! Thankfully Ryden is home 3 days a week and goes 2 days. I am thankful for that! He's my baby. :-)

Well, nothing else new. Just waiting...and more waiting...and more waiting! :-)

...Carala

post #102

2009-08-20T15:22:00.000-07:00

So, I had always planned to do a big post on POST #100!!!! But....that has come and gone as you can see. I guess I did a few more over the summer than expected! Oh well! And, I also had planned to put a BIG "5" on a post for 5 MONTHS of waiting...but that also has come and gone. I think this summer has me a little scatter brained! LOL! So, here we sit, 102 posts in and 5 months 2 weeks and 3 days since our stuff went to Russia....and no news. :-( Today has been one of those days where I feel I am in a daze. I should be outside enjoying the hot sun as we all know it's not going to last very long. But, I did a little of that earlier...read some of my book...it was nice. But, I just kept thinking of my girl. It's like the biggest surprise I'll ever have in my life! What does she look like? With our boys...we could kind of imagine...but with her? It's like, who knows?! And, we have no idea what age she'll be either. 18 months to 3 years is a lot of difference. I just want her here with us...enjoying this nice summer day. I almost feel like I can't enjoy the sun today. All I think about is how much she would love it here, loving our grass, play structure, ice cream, going on the slide, loving her brothers and how entertaining they are! Anyway, that's my thoughts today.

I've also thought about the "call" that we'll get from our government saying "we have your girl!" It will be so unbelievable! So incredible! I think I'll run to the school and pull the boys out for the rest of the day! At least that's what Trennon says I should do! :-) Then we'll go visit Terence at work and yank him out of a meeting!! How fun! Then Trennon says we'll let them stay up late cause we'll want to talk about her all night and look at her picture! I love his excitement and how much he is dying for his sister to come home. His prayer last night ended like this "...and thank you God for giving me a mama, dada, brother and SISTER that loves me so much." Ok, I just got the big old tears in my eyes.... I just wish God would scoop up our girl and deliver her to us. He can do that you know?! Though I'm sure it's not in His plan at the moment(hee hee!) I just wish it could be that easy. I've learned a lot in the last 2 years about God....He's not always quick..well, pretty much NEVER quick! :-) I'm just sooooo tired of it. I remember when my friend K who adopted from Russia was getting very ansy and just wanted her "call" to come. It was long after....she got the call. It was so cool to join her in her journey and now they are home safe and sound. I have other friends that are in China right now picking up their girl....God has blessed them with such a sweet heart! I love these stories...cause they're stories of HOPE! One day....we too will have our own story! So, we wait for the day.....

...Carala

nothing new...

2009-08-17T07:28:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been 5 1/2 months now of waiting. Nothing is new. Haven't talked with our agency. Just waiting... We just got back from a bunch of holidaying. It was fun...but we're glad to be home. I am anxious for school to start now. It's time to get school supplies this week with anticipation of school starting in just 2 weeks! I knew the summer would go fast...and it has! But, it's been fun.

I'm glad we almost have 6 months of waiting under our belts. I feel pretty good about it. Life is good, God is good, and I feel like I'm really coming out of this valley I've been in this summer. You know when God says, "I won't give you more than you can handle?" Well, He's been pulling me out of the "dark" and into a very nice place. I have this peace. Though times I still struggle with the wait, I have this hope within me. God is good. :-)

In the month of July so many of my friends received referrals or went to get their children. It was so exciting to see God work miracles with their lives...but also very difficult for me at the same time. As you can imagine. But, I know our turn is coming. I know God is teaching Terence and I patience...and I know it must be for a very good reason. Something we must need at some point in our future. So, I am very truly thankful that God brought us through that very difficult time in June/July. No pain, no gain...right?! I am excited about our future! I'm excited about this fall and seeing both my boys in school. I will have a couple days a week to do some stuff for myself and to get ready for our girl to come home. I think God knew I needed this time. Ryden will be in school 2 full days a week(for K) and then in January they add Fridays full day. So, after 7 years of being home with my boys...I will get some "free time"!!! I am sooo looking forward to this! Though, I know I have so much to do in getting ready for our girl...I am also going to join a squash club or something like that. I need some "me time" in there as well!

Anyway, time to make breaky and get ready for the boys swimming lessons...which I enjoy so much!

Hope everyone enjoyed their summer! Though a cold and rainy one for us western Canadians...it was still fun!

Love,
Carala

Summer photos...

2009-07-29T13:15:00.001-07:00

This is our "backyard"...only 2 hours from our house. We love every minute we can spend in our beautiful Rocky Mountains.

Only a few years ago this once was a gorgeous green forest. A forest fire went through Marble Canyon. It just recently reopened for hikers. It's still gorgeous though!!!

More Photos....

2009-07-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

the boys at sunset, Drumheller, Alberta

and more photos...!

2009-07-29T12:23:00.000-07:00