Thursday, June 26, 2008

Lyrics to my favoriate song....

This is my favoriate song right now. It's sung by CASTING CROWNS! It's really where I'm at and I hope you this can be an encouragement to you, when you go through the "storms" of life. No matter how many tears I cry for our daughter...I know he is holding them in his hands. I will praise him through all our the good times or the bad times. God won't always save us from the bad in life...but if we lean on him, he will help us through. God has been at our sides through this all, He has been my strength when I feel I can stand no longer. Read the words below....

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away


I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth


an update.....

well, it's been a long time since I've written. I've been dreading this post...cause things are not going well in Taiwan. It seems that our hope for getting a baby girl is drifting away. The reality is setting in. I know this is probably a shock for some of you. Chung Yi doesn't seem to be giving referrals of infants to anyone. I'd love to hear it directly from Chung Yi's mouth...I wish now I would have asked the hard questions of Chung Yi while I had them right in front of me. Of course there's been no confirmation since no one seems to get any honest answers out of Chung Yi. So, where does this leave us? We aren't completely sure at this point. Some days I'm still in a bit of shock. After having an amazing time in Taipei and at Chung's like a bad ending to a great story...a bad dream. But, I know God is watching over us. I know he knows our hearts. And most importantly I know he knows where our child is....maybe our child is not in Taiwan after all. This is all very hard to take. We've been processing it over the last 2-3 weeks. It's still so fresh. When we know more about what our next step is...I'll be sure to update the blog. At this point I can't say what we're thinking cause we're still both very unsure of where we're headed. It's a lot to get your head around.

As we're coming close to a year, all our documents are that means we need to get our medicals redone, intervention check, police check etc. I guess it's good timing...cause then all our stuff will be new. Reality is....we just lost a year. But, I realize that we took a great risk in going with Taiwan. It was so new...and you either jump or not. And we jumped with a lot of hope. I probably would have never stopped in Taipei if it wasn't for our adoption...and I'm so glad we did! It is an amazing place and we'll definitely be stopping there as a family on our "trip around the world" one day.

Adoption is not for the weak, it's for those that know how to fight all the obsticles it possesses. We will not let this thing do us in....we will fight till we bring our little one home. If you have endured adoption, I commend you! For most it's the biggest challenge they will face in life. It tests pretty much all of who you are. The emotion, the mental, the psychological....and physically some days you wonder how you will get up in the morning to face another day. The community that the adoption world has is incredible. We've met so many that have encouraged us through this process. I highly doubt I'd be this positive right now if it wasn't for them. Thank to all our friends here in Calgary and to those new friends I've found in adoption forums. You are a blessing to us and know that you are a big part of this. We will forge on....with hope that one day we will hold in our arms...the child God has in mind for us. I've learned so much about who I am and who we are as a family. God has been ever present and I've been closer to Him these days then ever before. As the fight has gotten harder...I've clung more to Christ and who he is in my life. Some days I feel blind, not knowing what way to go...but God keeps saying, "trust in me and I will be your guide in the darkness of this storm you are facing. " And so we do! God is so good!

Thank you all for your prayers and sticking with us. You know that there will be the biggest party when we get off that plane with our little one wrapped in our arms! I can't wait!

...Carala (for Terence and our amazing boys!)

Friday, June 6, 2008

missing her....

Today...I miss our daughter.... I feel so blessed to have been to Taiwan. But, when I really think of it. Her "mother" was walking around Taiwan, when I was..... maybe even pregnant with our daughter. I was there in search of who she is, her people, her homeland. Her mom... searching for reasons to keep her, or to give her up. Our two very very close.....yet so far a part. I think my heart was kept guarded by God while I was there. Cause, I think I would have gone crazy thinking about her and her "mom". I think I would have crumbled at the door step of Chung Yi...if I would have thought much deeper. Cause now...when I think of how close I was to heart hurts. I know we all go through this is one way or another. Adoption brings out different things in different people. I just know that today, I hurt. But, there's always tomorrow! And I know God allows both joys and sorrows into our lives. They all make us stronger! I'm thankful, so thankful for my short time in Taiwan. I got an opportunity few get. I can say, that Taiwan is an incredible country, with extraordinary people....and we are all blessed and fortunate to be able to love them and bring one of them into our homes....forever.

So, we continue on our journey....doing our best to stay hopeful and excited...for the day we get our chance to walk through the doors of Chung Yi....


Thursday, June 5, 2008

Chung Yi - inside the Orphanage

Chung Yi - inside the Orphanage

I couldn't believe the number of books I saw! They teach the kids to be clean and tidy. It was definitely a nice surprise!
The first picture is of the front office, with 2 receptionists. Sandy (Choices contact person) is the one standing to the right. The social workers offices are in the back to the left.
The top right picture is a "common" living space to relax, eat a snack, watch tv, read books, and hang out. There are 2 of these per floor. This particular one was for ages 7-12 boys.

National Palace Museum - Taipei

These photos were taken at the National Palace Museum in Taipei. The view is spectacular from the Museum steps! (as you can see!) This is definitely a "must stop"...if you don't have children with you...they would be bored!